


Knocking on Death's Door

by bebster



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Modern AU, Multi, Multichapter, No trigger warnings, POV Jean Kirstein, Tumblr, Vampires, aot - Freeform, eventual NSFW, jean x marco - Freeform, jeanmarco, jeanmarco fluff, later fair description of blood, riingoswrites, snk, this will get good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:29:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bebster/pseuds/bebster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco has lived a fairly simple life but is starting to get tired of it during his Sophomore Year of College. With a line of kidnappings and murders happening, he gets a little nervous. Meeting a certain brash kid named Jean doesn't exactly seem to help, in fact, he gets thrown right into the middle of it. Marco thought he wanted adventure, but it turned out he actually wanted change... Jean gave him a little more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Little Work of Fate

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy it!! My summary isn't very good but this is about vampires. I just think it'll be fun. 
> 
> Well thank you reader!!!! ENJOY!

_Three more missing._

        Marco had never been one to watch the news in the morning but even he had to admit he was slightly interested in the case. It had even bothered his ever-so-strict mother to call him every day to make sure he was safe. Marco rarely even left his dorm so of course he was fine. Some of his classes were online and the others he was willing to skip often, (after all they were clear on the other side of campus). A few times a week, good old Bertholdt would drop by to bring him food and gossip about their friends Sasha and Connie, who were bound to get together any day now. Anyway, the case, for the past two months random people of all ages have been going missing. Around a week later they will turn back up pale, bloodless, cold, and dead. It all sounded so surreal to Marco, like some elaborate prank, but that couldn't be considering twenty-two people were already proven dead and more to come.

       “Come on, Marco! I hear Connie is going to pop the question to Sasha tonight.” Bertholdt was sitting on the futon with a bowl of cereal in one hand and his phone in the other desperately trying to persuade Marco to attend a party tonight. Marco only rubbed the back of his neck thinking on whether or not to go; he really didn’t have anything else to do. “Why are you so hung up on what Sasha and Connie are doing? You should be focusing on you and Reiner.” Bertholdt blushed at this, trying to cover his face with the plastic bowl. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s dead obvious!”  
“It is?”  
“Yes.” Eyebrows raised, Marco waited for some response. After an unwanted silence, Bertholdt set down the empty bowl and concluded the subject. “Well Marco, if you want to... you can bring your roommate.” Bertholdt was admitting to his crush since Marco’s roommate was actually Reiner. Reiner was a good guy, big tough fellow, but nice. He was social and usually out and about, but he made his way back to the small dorm most nights. Marco tapped his lip with his finger as if he was thinking about the invitation thoroughly.

      “Alright I’ll go. But only because I want to see you and Connie flip out when you guys are asked out.” Marco gave a knowing smile as he stood up preparing to change into slightly nicer clothes. Bertholdt had a questioning look on his face.  
“What?”  
“Connie?”  
“Do you really think Connie has the guts to do it himself?” Bertholdt sat silently for a moment. “Yeah.” Marco only shook his head, “Bet you ten bucks it’s actually going to be Sasha.”  
“Deal.”

* * *

 

      Autumn was coming to an end and nearly all the tress were stripped and skeletal from their fall apparel. Marco had changed into a pair of dark jeans and a light grey t-shit which he covered with a forest green jacket. Although it wasn’t the nicest attire, it still somehow seemed nicer than his previous outfit. Bertholdt had decided to drive him there, but he said he wouldn’t drive him back. _Thanks_. Thus Marco decided he would leave a little early and not drink (which was a given since he only got drunk once and learned he was a rather clingy drunk) and walk home. Bertholdt left Marco to go and find Reiner, who was probably talking to Annie. Marco hadn’t gotten to know her very well, although she has been to the dorm on more than one occasion. She was probably okay since she was close to Reiner and Bert, but Marco made a point to keep away from her.

     “YO FRECKLES WATCH OUT!” Instead of ducking like he was supposed to do, Marco turned to see an entire lamp being thrown at him. It hit him square in the face. “Oww.” It was a lousy lamp, but it had been glass and still shattered when collided with his head. Marco was easily bleeding and felt a little lightheaded. Christa, a small little girl who always seemed to make everyone feel better, came to his rescue. “Oh, sorry Marco I’ll go get something to patch you up. Hey guys let’s not be throwing things now!" Christa yelled over her shoulder. Marco felt a little out of place already at the party and being hit in the head with a lamp wasn’t helping. He held onto the growing bruise on his forehead as he watched Christa bounced away to the bathroom, and watched Ymir, Christa’s girlfriend, yell at the boys who threw the lamp; this was her apartment after all.

     Marco only sat in silence. He knew most the people here since it was a smaller group. He had already been friends with Bertholdt since third grade and became close party friends with most of these people. He met Reiner last year as well as most of his friends. It was so repetitive: same Friday parties and weekday classes. Everyone knew him as the really nice guy, and there was some truth to that. Marco felt flushed just thinking about how unnecessarily kind he was. He didn’t mind though, he wasn’t in the mood to get close to anyone this year, he was just going to graduate college, maybe open a small business, or write a book, pay the bills. Marco’s agenda was blank, just how he preferred it in this cold weather. He didn’t want to meet anyone new.

     Almost by an elaborate coincidence, the front door opened and in walked four new people. All of them dressed differently but still formally. In the front was a shorter kid, thin, and brown hair brushed away from his rather angered expression. A girl with black hair was to his side and a boy with longer blond hair to the other. All three of these people blended in well, but still had a large presence in the loud crowd. It was the fourth member to the group that grabbed Marco’s attention, he was a taller male wearing skinny jeans and a white dress shirt. He had an odd haircut, most of it lazily plopped atop his head and dyed a tan color with the sides shaved down and kept to its natural brown.

      Marco looked away for a moment when he realized short little Christa was trying to reach up to bandage his forehead. Marco gave a smile and bent down so she could slap the adhesive strip to his head. He thanked her and she ran back off into the crowd. Marco looked fervently for the new group of people. He found the front three talking to Reiner and Bertholdt, but not the tan boy. He held in a gasp when he noticed the boy was walking passed him only a couple feet away. Marco watched his back as he walked to the drinks, his eyes casually drifting south. _Damn, I could go gay for that ass._ As if he spoke aloud, the boy turned and faced Marco directly.

     “Dude? Were you looking at my ass?” Marco was startled to realize that, one, the boy was addressing him, and two, that he noticed Marco looking at him. Marco fiddled with his thumbs as the boy came close to him, awaiting an answer.  
“Uh, no, well kinda.” The boy only laughed. It was one of those laughs Marco knew he could listen to over and over again on a recording. Soft and elegant, but full of mirth.  
“Juawn.” Marco’s mind was still a bit awed, but he knew he heard the word right.  
“What?”  
“J-e-a-n. It’s my name. Jean. It’s French so it sounds funny.” Marco realized how difficult he was making this for the guy to just give his name. Marco whispered the name, exotic, new, and strange; he liked it. For once, something new didn’t seem so bad. Marco smiled, “Ah, well my name is Marco.”  
“Marco? That’s strange.”  
“You’re one to talk.” Jean only smiled and nodded. “So Marco, do you go to Trost here?” Marco nodded as he spoke, “Yeah, I live just down the street in Sina.” Jean was nodding along but kept a rather bored expression as Marco spoke. This guy was either a little rude or really didn’t care, probably both.

     Marco only swirled the drink in his hand. This conversation wasn’t near as lively as he hoped it would be. He was fascinated by Jean, but he seemed kinda out of it, like he was tired. Marco knew he could ask about him and the people he came here with to get a conversation started, but Jean spoke first.  
“What happened to your head?”  
“Oh." Marco began, "Someone threw a lamp at me. I still don’t know why.” He spoke with a small laugh in his voice as he looked back down at his soda.  
“That’s a shame, I can’t see all your freck—I mean ouch that must’ve hurt.” Jean scratched the back of his looking off at some other direction. Marco felt a blush creeping up on his cheeks.  
“What’s that Mikasa? Oh I’ll be right there. Bye Marco maybe I’ll see ya around?” With that Jean walked away with his skin a certain shade of red spreading on the back of his neck. Funny thing though, Marco didn’t hear anyone yell for Jean.

* * *

 

     Marco had eventually moved on from the awkward conversation and hung around with Sasha and Connie. He was happy; Reiner and Bertholdt were drunk but together, Connie and Sasha were also an item, and he had ten bucks newly added into his pocket. Sasha had been having a food fight and somehow ended up with her lips on Connie; which Marco took as her way off asking him out. Marco’s head felt heavy, but he didn’t feel the pain as much anymore, he was able to enjoy his night more so than he had planned. It was almost one in the morning and he wanted to be the first one to leave so he could get home safe and avoid being one of the names listed on tomorrow’s news under ‘missing’.

     The nighttime cold caught Marco off guard and he found himself zipping his jacket all the way up. It really wasn’t a long walk back to his dorm, but it was one he preferred to avoid. He closed the door behind him, but didn’t make it far down the driveway before he felt a strong grasp on his wrist. Marco tried to yank away but failed to be stronger. He opened his eyes to reveal that he was taller than the person. Once Marco blinked when he realized the features were familiar.  
“Jean?”  
“Marco?” Jean let go of his arm instantly with his cheeks returning to the familiar shade of red. “I... uh—thought you were someone else.”  
“Oh.”  
“Where are you going?”  
“Home. I have to walk home and I don’t want to be walking outside any later. Y’know kidnappers.” Jean only nodded slowly, his face pale.  
“I’d drive you home,” Jean began, pausing for a moment, “but I don’t have a car.” Marco laughed quietly, making the boy redden.  
“Nah, its fine. See ya.” And finally Marco walked away from the bustling party and back home. Meeting those red cheeks felt like a little work of fate.


	2. Bloodlust Murders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just unnecessary fluff... well mostly unnecessary 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it... its longer than the first!

            Marco woke up the next day with a killer headache. He didn't drink at the party last night so it wasn’t a hangover that was bothering him. Instead it was the red bump on his forehead that was caused by a whole other thing that could have to do with alcohol now that Marco thinks back on it. Marco finally pulled himself out of the comfort of his sheets and stood up, finding his balance. Luckily he didn’t have class today, but it wasn’t as if he was planning on going if he had any. Marco was a good student and he generally got good grades when he put forth his best effort. He had an older sister and brother making him the youngest. His family was decent even if he disagreed with his father half the time.

            Marco found himself in the fridge digging for food. He was hungry but felt that most foods would make his stomach upset; he settled for a dish of ice cream. He found his favorite spot on his bed and flipped the TV on. Of course the news was where it had left off on. Marco cranked up the volume and listened in to the reporter. The young lady on the other side of the screen said that one college student went missing last night and is presumed to be another kidnapping of the so called ‘Bloodlust Murders’, (which was now the name of the case). Marco turned the volume up a little more at the words ‘college student’. His mind flipped through all those dear to him; Christa, Ymir, Bert, Connie, Sasha, Reiner – man, Reiner didn’t come back—

“Reiner Braun is now confirmed missing even though it hasn’t been twenty-four hours due to this case.” Marco could only stare at the screen in disbelief. He felt all the more ill just thinking about his friend being found dead in the next few days. He dug out his phone and dialed Bert’s number.

“Bert how are you?” It only took a moment for someone to pick up the phone and Marco wasn’t hesitant to speak.

“I... yeah I’m fine.” The voice on the other end was calm, but it sounded tired and cold.

“Jeez Bert, I’m sorry, do you want to go get some coffee?”

“Sure.”

“Meet you at the place in twenty.”

* * *

 

            It was going to rain later and the sky was turning dark even though it was still before noon. The air felt heavier and not many people were out, although it was daytime at the big Trost University. Marco switched into a red hoodie and jeans, grabbing only his phone, wallet, and dorm key before heading down the street to the café. Sasha actually worked there, but she obviously didn’t have a shift at the time. The café was small and unpopular; the only noises to be heard came from the two college workers flirting behind the counters and the occasional coffee grinder starting up when needed. Bert was already there, wearing lazy clothes and eyes looking dry. Marco didn’t say anything until after he ordered himself and Bert both a warm cup of coffee.

            “You wanna talk about it?” Marco asked politely as he spun the plastic stirrer around in his foam cup. Bert first shook his head but slowly shifted it into a shrug.

“We finally got together though." he said shyly. "It’s unfair. I don’t even know what happened. We were going to go back to my place just a little after you left. All I remember is me being instantly pushed away then a boy, he had a funny haircut, well he was trying to defend Reiner I think, I don’t know. I sorta blacked out. I woke up in my dorm room. I really found out about it on the news like you.” Marco listened in carefully, taking a sip of the hot liquid at the conclusion of Bert’s story. Bertholdt seemed a little uncomfortable, but handling things well overall.

“Again, I’m sorry. It’s weird that you woke up in your dorm though, do you think someone carried you there?” Bert only shrugged again, “Well, whatever, it seemed like some silly group attack.”

“Silly?” Bert seemed offended, “Reiner is probably dead! How can you be so insensitive?!” That was the first time Marco had ever been called insensitive. Bertholdt did look like he regretted it completely after saying it, although Marco did feel guilty.

“Sorry Bert. But we don’t even know for sure it is that case okay?” Marco tried desperately to help his friend feel better, but he also needed reassurance himself.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

            Bertholdt eventually relaxed a little and was able to get himself back to his dorm. Marco felt sympathy for his friend, but also worried if Bert will be targeted as well since he was close to Reiner. Marco had gone to the library to study for about an hour but he didn’t accomplish anything. The hour had mainly consisted of him staring at senseless words as his mind wondered off into other things; mostly about Reiner but occasionally the tan boy and his weird hair. Marco remembered back to the earlier conversation with Bert. Bert had said some guy with a strange haircut tried to help. He couldn’t help but to wonder if that was the same guy from the party or not. Of course on Trost Campus there was a great handful of people with ‘unusual’ hair.

            A low rumble from outside snapped Marco out of his thoughts. A storm was well on its way and he hadn’t brought an umbrella. Closing his textbook and checking his phone for the time –two fifteen—Marco stood up and left the library.

            He barely made it back in time before the rain started. Autumn’s storms were always the most aggressive of the year. Loud thunder erupted every few minutes and lightning always appeared afterwards; the two a pair. The lights flickered occasionally and people below and above this dorm could be heard gasping and chuckling whenever the weather did something startling. Marco was well prepared by sitting comfortably on his bed as he kept the channel of the TV on some horror movie reruns, ‘convenient’. This day was proving to be slightly more comfortable than he had anticipated. Generally he didn’t care for rainy days; they were so dark and gloomy. Today however, Marco could see the bright autumn leaves being brightened by the sky’s dark contrast in color. Being an art major, he grabbed a pencil and his notebook to begin sketching.

            After a couple old horror classics played on the screen Marco was pleased to see a newer and scarier one appear; he hadn’t seen this one yet. He watched as the protagonist slowly crept up and knocked on a door. Even through the rain, Marco could still hear the knocking oddly loud. Only a few moments later he heard the knocking again, this time the screen had been playing a toothpaste commercial. Marco rubbed his eyes and looked around the room, his eyes eventually landing on the only window. It was nearly black outside, Marco couldn’t see anything. As if cued, lightning flashed illuminating a face hanging just outside his window. Marco gasped, watching horror movies didn’t help calm his nerves any. After a few slow paced moments, Marco recognized the features as the boy from the party, Jean.

            “Dude what the hell?! Let me in!” Marco blinked, opened the window, and watched as Jean stumbled into the small dorm, dripping wet. He was shivering and had some cuts where he had recklessly climbed up the tree to the second floor. After a moment, both Jean and Marco found themselves laughing. Once again, Marco got the privilege to hear that irresistible laugh escape the boy's soft. ‘I wonder what thry tastes like.’ Marco tensed up, mad at himself for having such unptovoked thoughts.

“I’ll get you a towel.” Marco only had to walk a couple steps over to get to the closet and open it to reveal a couple navy towels. Being taller than the tan boy, Marco was able to drape the towel over the boy’s head and shake his hands to help dry off his hair. Marco pressed down, practically having Jean tumble over in both the pressure and laughter. Marco was laughing too, actually he was having fun. He didn’t really know him, but Marco liked this Jean guy. Something about his presence seemed to just fit with Marco's.

            “Okay hold up,” Marco began finally pulling away from Jean and sitting down on his bed, “what are you doing here? Are you okay?” Jean finished drying his hair and arms as he draped the towel around his shoulders.

“Yeah. I was just bored and… I don’t really know.” At this, Marco let a little chuckle escape his lips.

“Why not use the door?”

“That is not near as romantic now is it?” Ears slightly red, Marco smiled, hesitant to admit the truth to the subject. “Well, I guess you can borrow some clothes if you want to, I'd be really cold like that.”

“Thanks.” Marco grabbed another hoodie and a pair of nice sweat pants he got his freshman year (and assumed Jean did too) and handed them to Jean.

“Bathroom is just down the hall.”

“Wow that’s boring.” Jean began tugging off his wet t-shirt and tossing it to the ground.

“Jean!” Marco fell down on the bed and closed his eyes. He could first hear a snicker from Jean, but then later the simple sounds of undressing and redressing.

“You can look now doofus.” Marco sat up to reveal Jean wearing his clothes, everything just one size too big. Jean’s now sloppy and spiky blonde hair only helped with his appearance and Marco found the whole thing cute.

 

            Marco wanted to ask how Jean found his dorm, but after the party last night he could just assume that they had some mutual friends.

“What are we watching?” Jean sat down on Marco’s bed and turned towards the tv, face becoming pale. The lights were still off and Marco could easily read the fear on Jean’s face; this kid wasn’t so tough after all.

 

            Marco wiggled his way around Jean and found a spot on his bed as well a respectable distance away from him.

“How do you watch such—hey what’s this?”

“Wow you are really unfocused.” Marco could see a frown on Jean’s face through the dark. He hadn’t realized Jean had picked up his notebook and was flipping through the pages. Typically this didn't bother Marco, but with Jean closely perusing each page he couldn't help but feel anxious. 

            “Damn son these are good.” Marco hoped his blushing wasn’t visible in the darkness.  It was quiet for a few minutes after this. Eventually Jean put the sketchbook aside. Marco was leaning comfortably against his pillow and Jean was beside him, knees pulled to his chest. Jean seemed engrossed into the movie and Marco was trying to be as well, but his eyes would slowly shift back to Jean and his messy hair. Marco didn’t know what happened on the screen but he heard a loud scream and felt the body beside him fall against him like a bowling pin. “NO HOMO!” Marco chuckled softly and cooed into Jean’s ear, “You baby.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.” Jean only gave a defeated sigh as he nuzzled deeper into Marco. Quickly after that the credits began to appear on the screen.

“It’s over now Jean, you can relax.” He began to pull away but the thunder decided to make a guest appearance and which also shut the lights off. Jean was shivering into Marco’s shoulder, slightly laughing of embarrassment but honestly filled with fear.

            Marco only rolled his eyes and grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around Jean. “Marco you have made me comfortable and I am tired so I am going to sleep now.” With that abrupt conclusion, Jean tugged Marco down into a lying position so he could properly snuggle into him. Marco knew he should be more embarrassed, but Jean’s presence felt pretty normal.

“Well nighty night Jean.” Jean fell asleep, his breathes slow. Marco hesitated, but decided upon filing his hand through Jean’s damp hair. “so…rry M..” Marco listened into Jean’s sleep talk, knowing he shouldn’t. In fact, Marco didn’t even know the guy at all. “Marco.” Jean’s forehead pressed further into Marco. Marco could only smile; Jean was undeniably cute.

 

“Maybe I’ll sleep too.” With that, Marco closed his eyes and fixed the blanket so they would be sharing it.

 

* * *

 

                        Morning light was peeking through the curtains. The room was still dim but it was still bright enough to disrupt Jean’s slumber. He opened his eyes to reveal a freckled face only inches from his own. He had forgotten about falling asleep here and was tempted to face palm his self since he had actually been emotionally unstable last night from a fight with Eren and Armin (but mostly Eren). Jean knew he had been foolish to come here to Marco’s room. Some reason though, Jean seemed to feel better near Marco, he was too damn nice.           

“Oh… hey Jean, good morning.” Jean watched as Marco flicked his eyes open and gave a smile that made him question his own existence. It was the sweetest smile he had seen. He could see himself being friends with Marco in the future. But Reiner’s empty bed and all the missing people reminded Jean that it was impossible.

“S...sorry Marco, I’ll just go I guess. Sorry I...was upset last night. I sorta just busted in.” Jean got up, ignoring his own clothes and forgetting he was wearing Marco’s sweet-scented hoodie as he hopped out the window. Jean coolly walked away on the damp grass, feeling undoubtedly embarrassed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay yeah.. I kinda rushed it.. please stay tuned though!  
> as always find me at :
> 
> bebster.tumblr.com


	3. Unrequited Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an average coffee shop date. Jean is a little nervous and Marco is a little too hot. Maybe that's the coffee. Who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rereading this two years after posting and I'm fucking crying why did I write like this I'm so sorry u guys r too nice pls talk to me holy shit

Crushes are unpredictable. One second you’re thinking of your homework, the next you’re daydreaming about that certain someone. In Marco’s case, this was Jean Kirschtein. He really didn’t see this one coming. But after Jean had left, Marco couldn’t stop thinking about him. This pattern continued into the next three days, even throughout classes. His textbook lay open in front of him and the instructor spoke about the project due before break, but Marco was having issues concentrating. Before meeting Jean, he had been getting bored with his repetitive routine and Jean had just thrown the whole system out of whack; Marco was already addicted to it. He never saw this one coming, but he was quick to accept it.

“I’m gay!” He really wouldn’t have known that he had spoken aloud unless the teacher hadn’t said “That’s nice now sit down Mr. Bodt.” Marco was standing in the middle of class, red-faced and listening to some nearby snickers. He gave a small smile before grabbing his stuff and heading out the door.

His class wouldn’t end for another twenty minutes and the next one was in an hour after that. He had time to kill and knew he shouldn’t waste it with all the homework he had waiting for him.  
“Marco?” Marco turned his head to see Jean exiting a different room. He wasn’t as fancy dressed as he had been on their other encounters. He was wearing jeans and zip-up jacket. It looked hot. Marco wasn’t even sure why, but it did. It was probably because he was just so undoubtedly attracted to him.  
“What are you doing just standing there?”  
“I… I just… was thinking sorry.” Marco tried to push past Jean; he couldn’t handle such a coincidence right now. His heart was pumping and knew his face was a still a little red. A hand on his wrist held him back; this felt familiar.  
“Jeez Marco don’t apologize, its fine. My class just ended. Do you want to do something?” Marco didn’t want to have to deal with any angst, but it seemed like an opportunity would be missed if he didn’t just go. But Marco had homework and he wasn’t keen on flunking out of college.

“N...Wait. I have to do an art project so do you think you could help me with it?” Marco felt like he was imposing, but he asked anyways. Jean’s face seemed to lighten when Marco had spoken. “Sure! But hey, you shouldn’t hang out with me.” Marco was happy to hear Jean agree to the offer but wondered why he added the last part to his answer. He slapped Jean on the back and continued walking. “Too late.” It was too late, Marco was already falling for the two-toned boy.

* * *

    Marco is too nice. He probably doesn’t even remember how to spell my name right and he is agreeing to spend time with me. That’s rare. I know Eren would be mad and jealous... but screw him right? I found this freckled Jesus first and I intend to keep this one. I’m still pissed at Eren for the fight a few days ago and making my back hurt from sleeping on a park bench these past nights. I feel hollow since I disconnected from the three, but I’m too stubborn to succumb to who I am.

Well whatever. I followed Marco outside, scowling up at the bright light and asked him, “So what is this art project anyways?” Marco took a moment to answer as if he had to remember what the project was.  
“Oh, I just have to draw you, well someone, ten times. All the pictures have to make a story in the end.” That was a project every art student had to go through. It was an overused and cliché project, but I could see how it was still a good one. I flexed my muscles as if posing for a camera. “I’m ready!” Marco chuckled softly his ears a bit red. “No need for that. We do it out of memory. So I guess we should just go out and do something.” Spending time with Marco made me nervous. His presence felt so warm and I can still remember the scent of his clothes: maple, almost even sugary.

    Except I knew that scent shouldn’t belong to me. I was cheating Marco. He knew so little of me. Not only that, I was a threat; a fatal danger to his life. I was so god damned fed up with my life and longed to be this guy’s friend, but it wasn’t my position to fill. However, I chose the foolish option and already dug myself into a hole saying I would take part in this guy’s art project.  
“Alright sure. What should we do then Marco?” I pulled at the sleeves of his jacket to try to cover more of my arms. People walked past the two of us as Marco thought of something to do. “Can I at least at least suggest something indoors? It’s getting kinda cold out.” Marco gave a slight nod and smiled. “Yeah. Why don’t we just go and get coffee?” I nodded back in affirmance. I liked that idea; it wasn’t too… too tiring.

Marco had clearly lived in the area for a while since he knew exactly where a small shop was and how to get there fast. “Hey Sash. Can I have the regular and…” Marco trailed off, addressing me. “I’ll just have a tall black thank you.” The girl’s name tag said Sasha and she punched some numbers into the register. “Got it freckles.” She had a cute smile. I didn’t mind her, I’m happy to think these are the kinds of people Marco is acquainted with. Unlike me, he seems to be on a good path.

After being handed two foam cups of coffee Marco led us to a slightly more secluded table with high chairs by a window. I looked down at the dark liquid, stirring it unnecessarily with a red stirrer. Once I glanced up I realized Marco had an eyebrow raised, staring at me questioningly.  
“Black?” He asked.  
“What? Oh yeah, I’ve always had conventional tastes I guess.” Really it was because of who I—what I am: I don’t taste very much. Alcohol and bitter things actually are my favorites.

Marco took the lid off his cup and spun it around, attempting to cool the liquid. He acted so natural. Maybe because this was natural. Most people were accustomed to human interaction. I was just overreacting. I didn’t want to taint this man’s perfection or hurt him in some way. It would be so easy to hurt him. Everyone just feels fragile to me now… ever since Levi—no I need to concentrate on the situation at hand. I had been staring at Marco’s soft hands for far too long.

“So… um, you said you were an art major.” My voice had a question’s infliction it.  
“Yeah. I never really knew what I was going to go into, but then I just realized I’ve always liked art.” Marco paused, his words had been rushed. Maybe he was actually nervous. He had the right to be; I was dangerous, but he has no way of knowing that. “It’s a kind of dead end thing, but uh, I enjoy it guess.”  
“Pssh. Screw that bullshit right? Marco you’re a pretty damn good artist and don’t forget it.” Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. Why did I do that? It was such a bold compliment; so sudden too. Marco looked flushed. We both took sips of our cooling coffee.

It was a little too quiet and a little too awkward.

“Thanks.” Marco looked up, his expression earnest. He seemed much more relaxed. I gave a small nod and turned my head to look out the window. The sky was grey and heavy. Other college students walked around in small groups wearing heavy coats and stylish boots. Many had fuzzy hair, big glasses and puffy scarves. Marco spoke as if reading my mind.

“It is a bit of a shame that so many of the students look the same here.” I glanced over him. His head rested on his palms supported by his elbows on the table as he watched me. “You don’t though,” he continued, “You look different… in a good way.” He added the last part in fast, but naturally. I couldn’t help but feel complimented.  
“Hmm? How so?” I asked. Marco only smiled as his fingers fiddled with a napkin.  
“I don’t know exactly. You just seem…” I felt so fucking nervous. He knew. Of course he knew. Brilliant fucking Marco knew I was a… a beast. Jesus.

“...more beautiful than the rest.”

That is not what I was expecting at all. My cheeks were red. Hot even. So freaking hot my face was going to melt. What was that supposed to mean?  
“You’re just a freckled loon Marco.” Marco gave a small smile before returning back to his cup of coffee.

 

    The next hour went a little too fast. Things became a little too comfortable. I became a little too infatuated with Marco. We both finished our drinks too fast and we both knew we were leaning across the table a little too close. But we didn’t care. It was just us, away from the world. I knew, of course, I was enjoying this a little more than Marco, but we both saw us at the verge of a friendship. Eventually I received a text from Eren. Levi was having a hissy fit. Marco and I exchanged numbers and parted ways.

“Bye Marc. See ya.”

“Yeah Jean. Bye.” I savored the way he said my name one last time before I went back to the hell I came from.

Literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay yeah not the best BUT GET EXCITED I PROMISE
> 
>  
> 
> tHAN KYOU  
> 


	4. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean's nighttime adventure of him trying to get a snack before beddie bye~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hah. I had a lot of fun writing this one for no reason. Ive just always liked Jean. 
> 
> I am also looking for at least one more beta reader (proof reader) for my chapters.  
> message me or just comment ^^
> 
> Thanks and enjoy my lil trainees~~~

    I am pissed. No… no I’m really fucking pissed. Levi has decided to make this place a more permanent home. I should be okay with it, but I’m not. Marco lives here. Again, I should be happy about this. But if we stay here we will be putting all the people dear to Marco in danger. I may be a bit of a bastard at times, and I may be a bit too excited to slip into Marco’s pants, but I’m not just going to break apart someone else’s life for my own pleasure and benefit.

    Anyways, Levi is currently trying to track down a rogue beast. Actually this guy hasn’t killed anyone that we know of, but Levi likes to pretend that he’s all powerful. In my perspective, it seems like this guy is a noble dad, even I have killed some people during my time. Well, he recently stopped Armin and Eren from going into a young girls’ slumber party. Thank the fuck he did. I can’t believe Eren was able to convince Armin to do that. Even Mikasa was mad, I could hear her scolding Eren last night. I barely got any sleep because of it.

     Back to the guy. Eren and Armin didn’t really get a glimpse of him, but they said he was a tall and well-built guy. That really does help narrow it down believe it or not. Levi is already writing names down from his phone on people he can stalk later. I don’t know how he does it, finding other people like us, so I don’t ask. I also don’t want to know what Eren, Armin, and Mikasa do in their free time. They dragged me to the party that one time (which I’m silently grateful for since I met Marco there), but other than that I have no clue. They probably have nasty threesomes. Actually no they don’t, I’m just being a dumbass.

Right now I’m sitting on a moldy ripped up couch counting the cracks in the ceiling. We live in the basement of some old dude. When I say old, I mean it. He is like ninety. Eren wants to just kill him now and take the whole house, but Levi keeps blabbering on about “raising suspicion” or something. I really don’t care. I just want a bed. I sleep on the floor while Mikasa sleeps on this couch. Eren and Armin share the only bed. Levi… I don’t think he sleeps. He may be a strict douche, but I do have to have sympathy for him some times. He is the only one who is keeping us secret and frankly, alive. He also is the reason I am living.

But that is a whole other story.

I’m hungry. No, this is a different feeling. I’m thirsty. I should think about what to drink. I don’t know about Levi, but Mikasa always tries to get someone bad, unholy, or inhuman in their own way. Eren doesn’t really care, but he tries to stay away from children, well, for the most part. Armin takes whoever is near Eren’s prey.

God we sound like cannibals.

I don’t know what I should do. There isn’t any one I hate right now. Well, Eren, but that doesn’t exactly help me out.

Oh… I know.

* * *

     I didn’t go through the window this time. I have more dignity than I did the last time. It turns out when I’m not seething with anger I think a little bit better.

The only issue now is because I’m sober… not drunk with anger, I am nervous. Yeah, so I saw Marco… yesterday? Jesus, I don’t even know the days anymore. Well, the last time I saw him we left off okay. I was a blushing mess, but it was… nice. This time wouldn’t be so nice. Human scent was flipping a switch inside of me and I know Marco wouldn’t be any different. I am here for a quick question.

    I swallow my spit in hope of soothing my scratchy throat. The dorm door in front of me is a dark green. I think it’s ugly and I t’s clearly outdated. But because its Marco’s door I love it so much more. I raise my fist to knock on the door. The anticipation kills me.

Hypothetically of course.

Well eventually the door does open. I freak out even more than I had originally anticipated to. Marco wore yet another big hoodie with the sleeves rolled up. Hot. He also was only found to be in his boxer shorts. Hotter. I try to yank out a smile, but it comes out more as a smirk. Marco looks a little red too, but his smile is much more sincere. I notice his eyes looked dry and he even yawned. He leans against the doorframe cheerfully, awaiting for me to talk.  
“Need something Jean?”  
“N—No.” Of course I stuttered. This kid was so kind… really nice…too flip flapping head banging beautifully fucking too damned kind.

And I could smell him. Fuck it. I’m thirsty. I have enough control to not leech onto his neck however.  
“Marco.” I state sternly.  
“Hmm?”  
“Is there any one you absolutely hate?” Marco seemed a little surprised by the question. He scratched the back of his head as if trying to make up a false answer to soothe me.  
“No. Not really.” Damn I should’ve seen that one coming. Of course Marco would not hate any one. He should just be a damn priest or some fuck.

Hah. I feel like Satan in love with God.

Yes well Mr. Satan here is thirsty and I can’t handle Marco’s irresistible scent any longer.  
“Are you sure?” I ask one last time.  
“Yes. Well, I am kind of annoyed at Mr. Brickston since he gave—” I didn’t even let him finish. I knew the name. I knew the face. Marco would be freed from this bastard soon. “Thanks man, see ya.”

I turn and run down the stairs and out the door. I hadn’t noticed, but it was late. I checked my phone.

It was three in the morning. Fuck.

* * *

       This Brickston dude was a thirty year old history teacher. I only knew the guy from Armin taking out his wife. He was in a bad mood that night. I remember because he threw a lamp at Eren. Damn bastard had it coming to him though. God, why is my species so angry all the time? I don’t like people, but at least I haven’t assaulted anyone, but Eren, yet.

Even though it was three in the morning, college party goers were still out and about. Also some shadows could be seen through the library’s windows from the late night studiers. Campus seemed to always be bustling; I’m grateful to not live here. Rare. I usually hate every damn aspect of my life.

Back to business. I could tell I was walking a little too rushed since I got some quick glances from pedestrians. I didn’t give a fuck about being judged, I just didn’t want to be followed. My feet finally find the edge of the campus streets and the starting place for a well off neighborhood. Brickston lived in the second house down Lennie Avenue. It was blue. I remembered because I hated blue and coordinated the color with Armin’s fury. I don’t mind Armin, so he being upset scares me. I don’t want to relive that night.

I see a soft glow emitting from the blue house. I would’ve assumed a college professor would be sleeping at this time, but I guess you never know. I press my back against the side of the house. Slowly peeking around the corner I check to see if anyone was coming. Of course there was. A couple walked beside each other heading in my direction. I contemplated about taking them both out, but as they got closer I realized it was Brickston and some older lady. He obviously offered her inside but she shook her head. Thank the lord, the man’s wife did die only but a week ago. The girl got into her car and drove off. This left Brickston by himself and any pets he has. I doubt he has a dog. Maybe a cat or two. Some one that lonely and filthy probably would have a goldfish instead.

Before heading back inside he takes out a pack of cigarettes and a light from his coat pocket.

Now’s my chance.

I pull out my gloves with brass spiked knuckles from my back pocket and slip them on. Easier this way.

“Dinner is serve—” A strong hand clasps over my mouth interrupting my statement. God damn it. I shake off the grasp and elbow the attacker in the ribs. “Get the fuck—”. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. OMG. Fuck my life. Of course I would elbow fucking Marco right when I’m at my thirst’s limit.

“M...Marco! I’m…I’m s… sorry.” I was stuttering for two reasons. The first being because I instantly lose all my chill around this dude. The second being that my body is beginning to shut down at its lack of nutrients.

Marco was on his knees clutching his stomach.  
“Jesus I think you broke a rib.” He did look in pain. Fuck.  
“But its fine Jean. Really. I kind of startled you.” Marco seemed oblivious to the situation. At least I have that much going for me.  
“But, Jean, do you want to explain why you were stalking my teacher while calling him dinner?” Okay fuck never mind.

“Oh. That’s a funny story actually. So I like to role—”  
“The truth Jean.” My name no longer sounded perfect on his tongue. It only sounded unwanted.

If only I could turn into a bat and fly away like in the stories.

No. I got myself into this mess. I should get myself out. But, looking into Marco’s soft brown eyes makes my heart melt. I never saw myself ever feeling this way, but here I am, palms sweating. “Nah man.” I begin, trying to act casual. Maybe he’ll take the whole thing as a joke or misunderstanding of some sort. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.” Marco looked a little mad after I said that. Actually, he looked the most dejected I had seen him yet.

“Jean. I’ve waited a long time for something interesting to happen to me. You, just, your presence was almost enough. Please, if you have a secret, let me know. No reason for you to make this all cliché now is there?” I guess my façade really won’t work on him. Marco wasn’t being his usual jolly and gullible self. His words seemed kind of selfish, but I could tell he meant them.

Maybe telling one person wouldn’t hurt.

No Jean. No. I need to calm down. I’m just thirsty.  
“No. Marco.”  
“Jean. Please.” At this point, Marco is on his knees tugging at the bottom of my jacket. He was still being playful, maybe he isn’t taking me seriously. If I just blurted out my secret now, he would be terrified of me and would blab to the cops or something. He also would figure out it was my “family” that made the people he knew disappear. I feel awful. Conflicted and alone. I could smell the warm autumn-like smell on Marco. I didn’t feel so thirsty anymore.

I felt relaxed.

Marco.

Oh beautiful Marco.

These were my last thoughts before… before I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay yeah I hope that was awesome lol... I know my chaps are short.. but im hoping to update them often. 
> 
>  
> 
> tHAN KYOU 105TH TRAINEES ILY:


	5. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean ends up dealing with the consequences...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay.. this took way too long I'm sorry!!! But I assure you good stuff is coming. This chapter is like the Wednesday of the week.. we are now over the hump so smooth sailing from here on out. 
> 
> Also, I've got a good collection of messages on tumblr so I want to thank all those people!!! I appreciate the love~
> 
> Enjoy the long awaited chapter

To be brutally fucking honest, waking up isn’t the hard part, but more so yanking my eyes open. My mind was awake way before my eyes. I tried to perceive what was going on around me. This didn't smell like Marco, so unfortunately I didn't just collapse into his arms and later be brought back to his place. No, this scent was far familiar. Oh yes, this was the unforgettable stench of the family's basement. More particularly, Eren's couch. The couch was a dark ugly green with yellow stripes. It was just an ugly fucking everything.  
Damn, I’m angry this morning… I’m not even cussing right.

I'm not thirsty anymore. No scratch that, my thirst is just being covered by a seal. On each of my wrists is some weird symbol painted in black paint (I need to remember to wash these off soon). Okay, //this// is as crazy as this whole thing ever I get…I hope.  
Okay yeah I have no clue about anything pertaining to my own species. Levi tells me to read a book every now and then... But where is the fun in that? Tsch, no surprise.

"Hey Horseface." Jaeger. I don't even need to question it. After rubbing my eyes I sit up, balance my arms on my thighs, and sowly balance part of my weight on the bottoms of my feet.  
"Explain." My voice was stern and clearly unhappy. Hopefully, Eren would just leave me alone. Whatever happened to me is now taking a toll on my body.  
"I need to explain?" Eren began, "you are the one who screwed everything up! I don't even know what's happening right this second. All I know is some dweeb called me from your phone and is now upstairs talking to Armin."  
Marco? Oh my god. No fucking way. I did screw things up. No no no. A big breath of air is released from my lungs. Eren comes over to my side of the couch and eyeballs me.  
"Relax. He doesn't exactly know. I mean... No one has told him yet. I'm sure he is confused though."  
"And Levi?"  
"Mad as fuck."  
"Shit."  
"Yep."  
"I heard my name." Levi, dressed in black jeans and a light dressy shirt, came down the old wooden steps and found a comfortable spot leaning against the wall in front of me.  
"Eren," he spoke smoothly even rolling his tongue on the 'r', "go upstairs." Eren couldn't oppose him directly, but still headed upstairs after giving a small grunt; Levi's eyes only drooped a bit further.  
"Jean." I look up, finally awake. "I never thought you would be able to cross. Before Eren too.” He seemed to be talking more to himself than me. “Well whatever, just be careful from here on out. If you tell that kid up there I'll get mad but understand. Just know that if you don't cut ties you’ll be the one at his funeral.” The words numbed me. Of course I wasn't going to tell him, that idea also sickened me… but so did not telling him.  
Consequences always suck.

Eventually Levi said he was going to go out and search for the one dude again. Eren decided to take Mikasa and Armin to do something. I don’t remember what, it’s not like I care what Jaeger has to say. Now alone, I decide to concentrate on the issue at hand. Yeah, Marco was still upstairs. He also isn’t planning on leaving until hearing some answers. I hope he isn’t expecting them from me, but like hell he is. I’m the closest tie he has with the family. 

Okay, this is all resting on my shoulders.

Deep breaths Kirschtein.

Stop being irrational, this is just some dude that you are going tell that this was just some freak accident. It’s not like he looks at you strangely… 

I trudge up the old creaky steps, my knees a bit wobbly and my throat turning dry again. Tonight, I’ll drink tonight. I am greeted by a warm natural light and soft voices emitting form the television.

“Another body has been declared missing. This is obviously the works to the one behind all of the ‘Bloodlust Murders’ disappearances. The Delhune daughter, Madison, is presumed dead. Reiner Braun is still being searched for. Police have been trying to…”

“You have nothing to do with these murders right?” Marco turned off the television and slowly let his head fall towards my direction. I haven’t murdered any one since I’ve moved here. Once a month barely keeps us well fed. It seems Armin, Eren, and Mikasa haven’t been abusing their power either. That only means it really is the work of the guy Levi has been stalking—although he seems more of a saint than anything. I’ve obviously paused too long because Marco’s face began to contort into some pained expression.  
“No, Marco, it isn’t me.” It is a lot harder to lie to him than I had anticipated. His big brown puppy dog eyes stare straight at me, obviously aware that there is something going on with me. He starts up again,  
“Then explain to me—.”  
“Let’s go somewhere.” I interrupt.  
“Where?”  
“I don’t know.” 

~ . ~ . ~

Thin grey clouds begin to roll in covering up the regular blue. They aren’t the types of clouds that you can just stare at for an endless amount of time. These aren’t those big fat dark clouds that make the sky prettier in its own sort of twisted method. These aren’t rain clouds or snow clouds. No, these were just clouds. The sky was a light grey and the temperature was the coldest it has been yet. Gross. This weather is just fucking gross.  
Marco was dressed in a thin jacket and was hugging himself as he walked beside me. I give him a nudge when a park comes into view to tell him to go over there. I frown when he flinches at my touch.

“Jean—.”  
“Marco—.”  
We spoke simultaneously and ended up cutting each other off. The corners of Marco’s mouth pulled up and waited me to speak.  
“You go first.” I muttered.  
“I don’t have much to say Jean. Your eyes were bloodshot and you just seemed… murderous.”  
There isn’t much I can say to that.  
“Do you want to explain?”  
“Marco.” I begin, feeling the wind numb my naked arms, “I want to be your friend. I would never do anything to jeopardize that.” The truth. “I am not responsible for any of the disappearances you have been hearing about.” The truth. “Marco, I’m sorry.”

Only the Truth…

~ . ~ . ~

From Marco: Jeeeeaaaaaaaaan

To Marco: its 6 am! what

From Marco: look out your window

To Marco: why

From Marco: do it ;)

I don’t know what happened after the whole park incident. Actually I do, I just don’t know how it happened. Marco and I ended up taking turns on pushing each other on the swings. We probably looked like dumbass two year olds, but it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. It’s been a few days since then and now I am receiving six am texts from him. I sigh, stand up and slowly and open the blinds. Oh.

To Marco: snow…

From Marco: yes! :)

To Marco: I don’t like snow though

From Marco: Meet me at the cafe in an hour

~ . ~ . ~

I actually woke up at six because of his freckled ass. I’m actually dressed, clothed, and awake at seven. This is ridiculous. Sasha was our waitress again and we both ordered the same thing. We talked for a little while about nonsense. Until eventually Marco points out the window.  
“Do you really hate snow?”  
“It’s not really hate. I just don’t like it.” Marco nodded, his thumb brushing up and down on his foam cup.  
“Maybe you’re just looking with clouded eyes.” Outside the window I just see grey skies and people shoveling the sidewalks to clear it of its obnoxious snow burden. As if reading my mind Marco spoke.  
“Jean you look in pain. Don’t look so close, just look.” I turn my head back to the window and see something else. A little girl was making a snow angel in the snow probably having the time of her life judging by the smile on her face. A happy couple walked under a tree and the man slowly got down on one knee. And a cosplaying Santa Claus was ringing a bell to collect money for charity. Thanksgiving was in two days after all.  
All of these things happened in unison. Each little action was some form of greatness I would have missed unless Marco pointed it out. 

“Marco?”

“Yes Jean Valjean?” I frown at the nickname…

“What are you doing over break?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DONT TOUCH ME IM SORRY
> 
> this was unnecessarily not dramatic but it shall be cute I promise


	6. Humanity at It's Finest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With their friendship finally at a steady point, Jean instantly begins to cling to him. First friendships are the hardest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O M F G here it is. take it. I wrote this in four days and I have many excuses as to why I put it off but none are really that valid. so sorry, but this one is DOUBLE the length of the others.. if not more. 
> 
> thaaaaaank you for waiting ~~

People do change. The possibilities are endless. The sky’s the limit. How often do we hear this bullcrap? Too often. And when you’re a kid, you believe it. Even the quiet, intelligent kids have faith in these sayings. Deep down they all believe they could be the president or even famous. The saddest part of growing up isn’t learning that this isn’t true, it’s the fact that you know it’s not true yet you still believe it.

 

It’s not that that I want to celebrate Thanksgiving, I just really am looking forward to break. Putting yourself in my shoes you realize I’m a loser. Even if I can beat your ass and hang it on the wall… I am still a loser. I’m young and attractive but I only have one friend. Maybe that one friend is the fucking legendary Marco Bodt, but it’s one friend nonetheless. Also, that one friend is a freaking genius and takes like a hundred tough classes so he never has spare time. Okay, so maybe I’ve only had that one friend for like, a day, but you’d think he’d be more available. I’m looking forward to break because that means my one friend will finally have an open agenda.  
I pull out my phone and ask Marco when he is free. I sit in an unnatural silence flipping through Tumblr until he replies. I frown at the response. “Happy Thanksgiving to you too :)”.

To Marco: yeah yeah sorry r u free or not??? 

After a few seconds I get the response saying, “No!!” and, “Its Thanksgiving Jean, eat turkey!” That is definitely not what I anticipated. I suppose it makes sense though. Marco has two little sisters and a happily married set of parents. I’m sure they are going to have a happy dinner around a warm fireplace. Yeah there was November snow, and a lot of it.

“Jean.” I rub my eyes and look up (not much however) to reveal Levi texting on his phone in front of me.  
“Uh... Yeah?”  
“How are you feeling?” I roll my eyes at the cheesy question.  
“I’m fine mom.”  
“Watch it Kirchstein.” He began as he glided over to the staircase grabbing his jacket. I turn my head to follow his movements, “I am really close to catching the guy. The guy. I’m leaving you in charge. I would leave Eren in charge but he’s stupid. Leaving Mikasa or Armin in charge is worthless since they follow Eren. I already took their bitching so you don’t have to.” Levi finished buttoning the top button and shoved his phone into his pocket. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, two weeks at the most. Okay? Bye.” Levi began up the stairs but stopped, then turned to me. “Merry Christmas if I’m not back by then. You deserve a good one this year.” With that Levi walked up the steps and left the basement.

“You forgot to say Happy Thanksgiving.” 

~ . ~ . ~

At this time of ten in the morning Marco was cleaning the living room. He vacuumed as his youngest sister, Mona, dusted off the picture frames. A quiet radio played music from the kitchen and was loud enough to be heard. Marco hummed along to the tune of the song, happily lifting the ottoman to clean beneath it. Mona’s two little braids spun around as she danced around in her little purple skirt. Marco has always admired his family. They got along and were friendly, if not intimate.  
Currently his mother was mashing the potatoes for the feast and his father was picking Maya up from her trumpet lessons (that were annoyingly on Thanksgiving since the instructor was a huge ‘jerk’). Revealing his white teeth for a moment, Marco smiled at his sibling’s name. The three of them were the Bodt children: Marco, Maya, and little Mona.  
“I’m not little!” Mona yelled as shook the duster in her hand.  
“You are too! What only five?”  
“I’m seven!”  
“Okay okay…” Marco finished, reluctantly agreeing with the freckled girl. “And stop waving that thing around, you’re letting all the dust fly off.”  
“Yeah okay, Mr. Bossy Pants!”  
“You little—.” Marco pushed the vacuum’s tube towards his sister, creating her to scream in laughter.

~ . ~ . ~

Another two hours went by and most of the house was cleaned and  
Maya was now home finishing her make up in her room. It was quieting down now, the mashing of potatoes had stopped, the hum of the vacuum had ceased, and Mona’s shrill laughter came to an end. People would be arriving in a few minutes and Marco was dressed nicely in his navy button down and slacks.  
“Marco, could you be a dear and get Maya down here?”  
“Mhm.” Marco got up and went to knock on the Fallout Boy sticker covered door.  
“What?”  
“Mom wants you to come down now Maya… People will be here soon.”  
“Marrrc I don’t wanna. Aunt Alicia is coming and she always smell like rotting tomatoes.” Marco laughed quietly at this. It was true. The lady had a weird smell and always kissed right on the head using way more tongue than needed (which is none).  
“Sorry sis. Just put on your pretty dress and flirt with all our distant cousins.”  
“MARCO!”  
“You do it every year!”  
“Shut up!”  
Marco laughed triumphantly as he headed back down the stairs. A vibration from his pocket caused his steps to slow.

From Jean Kirsomething: marco help me

Marco smiled at the text, even if they were becoming a bit of a nuisance. He still didn’t know what happened with Jean, but Marco reluctantly trusted him about what he said. Besides, Jean was really nice and honest. Not to mention mouthwatering attractive. Ears a tiny bit red, Marco listened to the doorbell ring. “I’ll get it!” Let’s get this over with…

~ . ~ . ~

The Bodt Squad was very large. His immediate family was already cozily packed away into the small household, so when two sets of grandparents, around sixteen cousins, and nine aunts and uncles came to the one house; the air became heavy. Marco said hello to each individual family member. Each one asked how school was going and if he had found a girlfriend. He was used to family asking that, but now it was more a bit more difficult due to the new circumstances. Marco could only shake his head and move on to the next relative to do the same thing.  
Eventually his father finished carving the turkey and set it down on the center of the elongated table. Everyone found a seat—somehow—and quieted down for prayer. Young mothers tried to shush their children in hope they would stop screaming; the situation, of course, was futile. Marco’s granddad, a round bellied man with rosy cheeks and chubby fingers, cleared his throat and began to speak. Marco respectively closed his eyes. And as if the children weren’t annoying enough, a phone went off vibrating obnoxiously loud. ‘Wait.’ Marco thought to himself. It didn’t take him long to come to the realization that it was actually his phone. His eyes were wide open and he stared down at his knees and the table cloth resting on them. He quickly dug it out and silenced it.

From Jean Kirsomething: duuude im bored where r u??

Old Man Bodt finished his prayer and everyone instantly began dishing out food and eating, instantly making those appreciative faces. Marco took this time to quickly send a response to Jean.

To Jean Kirsomething: im at my house trying to eat. you should do the same.

Marco handed his plate to people closer to the pots and pans to pile on all the delicious dishes. It was only a short moment though before Jean replied.

From Jean Kirsomething: nah, levi is gone and eren took mikasa and armin so it just me. I don’t know how to cook anyways

Marco was a bit baffled by the response. Why hadn’t he gone home? Like, to his family? The idea that Jean didn’t have one pained him, but what he knew from the boy already, it seemed like a strong possibility. Here Marco was, with a hundred nice kindred to spare and Jean with none. His family was particular when it came to holidays however.

To Jean Kirsomething: if you want to come over you can. Later though, around eight?

Right as Marco picked up his fork to begin his long awaited meal his phone vibrated. 

From Jean Kirsomething: fuk yes. Give me yo address

Marco smiled to himself and quickly sent Jean the address. His reply was a winky face.  
“Marco, no texting at the table!”  
“Yes Mom.” Marco said. He felt a little dazed but maybe that was just from the absolute hunger settling in his stomach.

~ . ~ . ~

Black skinny jeans or regular pants. That is the real question here. I’ve already decided on a band tee and a purple jacket, like hella dark. I know I’m going to choose the black pants but they take way too damn long to slither up my bony ass. Setting the regular ones aside, I begin to dress myself.

Not fun ok. This isn’t fun. I only wear these motherfuckers when I’m on a date, and this is most certainly not a date. This is just a get together between to people who share a newfound relationship. 

I also am wearing an entire bottle of cologne and my hair is as good as it has ever been. So yeah maybe I’m being a bit irrational about this. I know I am, but I really want to appear somewhat decent for the freckled boy. I tell myself this is because I mainly want to make up for the legit hell I put him through, but that probably isn’t the case.  
It’s a little before seven thirty and I think I should go. The address he gave me was all the way in Jinae, so it will take at least thirty minutes to get there. Inside the warm comfort of my car I turn on my phone’s GPS and hope it’s accurate. The sun is beginning to sink and I’m going to have to rely on the piece of shit to survive the ride.

~ . ~ . ~

It was actually easy to get there. The ride consisted nothing but of me shitting my pants in anxiety and making one wrong turn. Apparently. Jinae is just straight down the main road; for a long ass time. As I pulled up to the house, the lights are still on and a few silhouettes could be seen through the windows. I totally forgot that his family would be here. Yeah, I’m going to have to pass on that option. Instead I got out of my car and jumped up to the window (I really hope no one saw holy shit). I’m assuming this was his room; it smelled like him. The light was on and coming through the door I see Marco. Thank the Lord, if it had been someone else I could’ve been screwed. I give a small smile and he just looks at me. He doesn’t even seem frightened, annoyed if anything. He comes over and opens the door.  
“Hello, my Prince.” I say lovingly. The name seems to make him flustered which really is adorable. He just shook his head and looked at me sitting on his windowsill. “Jean you need to use the front door like the gentleman you aren’t.” I stick out my tongue and slide of the wood down to the ground. I hear him gasp up above but I easily land with a thud. I’ve jumped higher things before. 

Getting a better view of his house I realize it’s a bit small; even for a two story. Snow was piled around it, but I could still see the quaint stone on the sides of the house. This was definitely the Bodt residence. Only Marco would reside in such a cute little house. I shake my head, humored on how much of a sweetheart this kid is; what is he, nineteen? I’m biologically that age, I suppose—okay this is beside the point. 

I get ready to knock on the door, first fixing my hair to the best of my damn best ability. Eventually, it opened. The man in front of me had black slick hair and a fuzzy mustache. Was this his father because holy damn he was the hot cowboy from all the ladies’ fantasies. Okay he wasn’t really country, but he was giving me that vibe.  
“Marco?” He shouted back to his son. Okay yeah he wasn’t a redneck, this man was Belgium. I already assumed that’s what Marco’s heritage was but this made it true. He gave me the up down and didn’t say anything until Marco was tugging at his sleeve. “Dad let him in he’s my friend.” With a short gruff grunt I was allowed into the warmth of the house. It was a lot warmer than the outside; I could still smell the lingering scent of turkey and beans. Marco took my sleeve and began tugging me up the stairs already.  
“Marco isn’t that a bit abrupt? Shouldn’t I say hi to—?”  
“MARCO? DID YOU BRING A BOY INTO MY HOUSE?” A hearty voice came from what I assumed was the kitchen. Out popped a soft faced woman with a plump figure. I don’t know where Marco got his slender physique, but he sure as hell got the freckles from his mother. She was just covered in them. Even in her reserved sweater I knew those millions of dots traveled all the way down her body.  
“Hi.” She said, nicer this time. “I’m Marco’s mother. I’m cleaning up in the kitchen and I think Mona is already asleep so try and be quiet? Have fun you two.” She turned around and waltzed back into the kitchen. That introduction was much more abrupt than expected. Over on the couch was Marco’s father. I was being tugged up the stairs but I swear I saw the man polishing a shotgun; but that could’ve been my imagination.

Inside Marco’s room I was a little surprised. It was bare as hell, but it smelled like him. I guess this is Marco, what more was I expecting?  
“Sorry Jean, I’ve just had too much family today; really didn’t care for more introductions you know?” I give a nod and comfortably sit down on his bed. I don’t exactly remember what a close family is; not that I really ever had one, but I could see getting annoyed with them every now and then too.  
We rest in silence for a moment before I ask, “Who is Mona?”  
“Oh… yeah that’s my youngest sister.” A younger sister. Where do I buy one of those? I want one. I want to beat up all her boyfriends when they break her heart and I want to give her noogies when she walks too close to me. Except I have a feeling that that isn’t exactly how Marco’s relationship is with his sister. I’m sure whatever they have is cute though. If I remember correctly, I had an older brother. That doesn’t mean much to me now; I do wish I remembered him more though. 

I can hear the sound of dishes banging together while being washed and the distant sounds of speaking. This is nice; this is home. It’s much better than a musty basement that smells of Eren and Levi’s cigarettes. Not that I’m tobacco free but their brand is gross. Here it smelled of Marco’s maple skin and family’s warmth. I’m not even sure if I’ve ever lived like this. My past feels so distant now. 

Marco jumped into a story of Mona from earlier that evening. I didn’t follow it pretty well but his laughter made it all the much easier for me to do the same. We kept talking about nonsense for a good hour or so. His mom yelled at us to quiet down a few time since apparently the ‘us waking Mona up’ probability was rather large. My belly began to ache and tears were running down my face. Apparently Marco as a kid learned the cuss word ‘drunk ass bitch’ before anything else. So cute pudgy baby Marco would stomp around the house saying, “That girl is a drunk ass bitch!” Yeah okay it’s inappropriate but the image of those freckles cussing so violently really humored me.  
It was the knock on his bedroom door that disrupted our laughter and finally caused it to taper down to a stop.  
“Yeah?” Marco called. The door pushed open to reveal a pretty faced girl (perhaps around thirteen?). “Marco?” She cooed. She took me by surprise, her accent was stronger than his. “I heard you two laughing and just had to meet your new friend.” The girl’s hair was in a sloppy French braid and she wore and oversized hoodie and black yoga pants. Pretty hipster. Marco smiled at the sight of his sister, “Hey Maya. This is Jean.” She gave a small wave towards me. She was a really relaxed person; her presence almost calming. She resembled Marco a lot, but didn’t carry the boyish qualities. Instead she had a women’s face and was pretty, much like her mother.  
I try my best to smile back. Maya hmm? She seemed like a good sister. I look back over to her and she was staring back at me. When our eyes met she looked away and her face is red. “Well goodnight you guys.” She spoke, her voice a bit more frantic than just before. She rushed out the room and Marco gave me a nudge on the shoulder.  
“She thinks you’re cute.”  
“And how do you know, Marco?”  
“We’re siblings; I know her taste.”

And for some reason, I couldn’t help but to blush. 

We ended up sloppily intertwined on his bed playing horror Xbox games then later silly shooter games once we get drunk on the night. Marco was oddly talented with the controller but I kicked his ass a few times.  
“HAH!” I yelled as I win this round of killing. Marco could only roll his eyes as I got up to do a victory dance. Although chuckling, he still grabbed the hem of my shirt to tug me down. “Oh my god knock it off Jean.” When he pulled I ended up tripping and falling on top of him. One hand was on his chest while the other was beside his head. For me, being undoubtedly attracted to him, this was embarrassing. I try not to blush but he ends up laughing. My hands can feel his shoulders shake; it felt so nice. Human interaction.  
I fall down on my back beside him and chuckle lightly as well. The clock beside his bed read two in the morning. Oh well, I hiss inside my head. I’m having the time of my life. Okay wow, cliché. But I am tired… before recognizing it, I’m falling asleep to the sound of Marco’s breathing. Up, down, up, down… somewhere in between that pattern, our hands found each other. 

 

People do change. The possibilities are endless. The sky’s the limit. How often do we hear this bullcrap? Too often. And when you’re a kid, you believe it. Even the quiet, intelligent kids have faith in these sayings. Deep down they all believe they could be the president or even famous. The greatest part of growing up is learning that this isn’t true, but you now have a heart strong enough to make it so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was a bit homo huh? more just domestic stuff really..
> 
> thank you readers, you make me want to keep writing you beautiful people you <3


	7. The Beginning of it All (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole bunch of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okai okai long over due and its not that long
> 
> it was a bitch to write okay? im sure the next chapter will be out sooner than later!!!! (this tyme im not lying)
> 
> okai love yall
> 
> PS my beta testers got annoyed by my lack of not talking to them so I could use new ones (also this isn't proof red sry)

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Beginning (Part One)

Our tongues battled for dominance. Alright maybe I stole that off of Tumblr, but it was true as hell. It turned out neither of us went to sleep. Anxiety was so built between us that the air had been noticeably thick. That kind of thick where you just want to throw up or push the heavy atmosphere away. We both noticed this and couldn’t do much about it. Marco was obviously a bit gutsier since he spoke first.  
“Jean,” his voice resembling a whimper, “fear is irrational.” Irrational?  
“How so?” He didn’t give me a direct answer. Except his actions worked just as well. He leaned over; I feel my entire left side go numb as he rubbed against it. If I didn’t scream I would soon roll off the bed. The only thing restricting me from doing so is the stiff grasp right above my wrist. My neck feeling hot, my skin, body and brain, are all a complete nervous mess.  
Marco leans in, slowly; hesitant himself. His soft lips slowly find a small niche to caress my neck. A breathy grasp leaves my mouth as his touch deepens. Emotion; excited but all the same nervous, fills within me. Another hand slips its way up my shirt. My skin tingles causing me to shake—a little too vigorously. He smiles his goofy smile and slowly brings his lips up to mine. This is it. The harmonious feeling I’ve been killing for. He still smells the same… but this taste… it’s bitter. Marco could never taste this tart if he tried. Tears fill my eyes as his touch quickens and his kiss deepens. I look directly at Marco. His skin, the flawless freckled beauty, began to burn, rip, and peel. My stomach churned but his kisses continued. Humans only burn if they fall in love with one from hell. 

Fear is irrational.

I cry. I cry until I wake up. 

Marco was the first thing I see. His funny dorky hair was a mess but he sat calmly behind me.  
“Jean? Are you alright?” I could feel the tear marks that had streamed down my face. I nod my head and Marco attempts small smile. His white teeth poking out in the dimly lit room. “I’m going to take shower Jean.” He spoke, stood, and then left.

Don’t. Don’t go. Leave me to rot in hell or come here and stay with me…

Fear. It’s irrational.

~ . ~ . ~ 

Bodt’s showers were long. I had to be grateful for that at the very least. I was sweating when I woke up and I appreciated the time by myself that it allowed. Although I didn’t do much, I still liked lying in his sweet smelling sheets until I had to get up. That time was considered when I heard the water shut off. Arising from the comfy Queen bed instead of a musty ruined couch was a pleasurable change, but the working furnace was my favorite part. No wait, scratch that. Marco coming back into the bedroom smelling like damn petunias or some shit was my favorite part.  
“You can use the bathroom. Feel free to take a shower.” Because he offered it to me I assumed he was saying I needed one. I take a deep whiff of him as I pass him on my way to the bathroom. Hot damn cock-sucking cum that smelled nice. I sigh; my thoughts are getting out of hand. The words aren’t even forming a proper sentence anymore. Oh fucking well.

I redress in my yesterday’s clothes, but this time smelling a lot better. I also learned while in Marco’s shower that it isn’t his body wash that smells so sweet but his shampoo instead. I don’t know why but that is a hundred times cuter.

His mother had prepared bacon and French toast by the time we came downstairs. Of course I couldn’t resist but to consider this act wonderful. I don’t remember my family well at all, but it wasn’t this nice. The one I have now is even the opposite of this. I graciously accept it by sitting in the wooden chair beside Marco.  
“Here you are Jean.” His mother spoke while setting down the plate. It looked really damn good. The heated syrup smelled like Marco, but less Marco and less human. We carried basic conversation with each other for about the ten minutes it took to eat. I wouldn’t call it awkward, but Marco now seemed to be watching me since this morning. Not that I don’t blame him; I almost murdered someone in front of him and then woke up writhing in fear and drenched in sweat.  
“Thank you Mam.” She nods and begins cleaning our plates and shooing us off. I took note of Marco’s word for mom; perhaps his family was Dutch or Belgium. I noticed yesterday but didn’t question it. 

After finishing polishing up the rest of our almost-not-groggy-at-all bodies, Marco turned to me. His head leaning against the wall as he watched me tinker around with his books on the bookshelf. They were all pretty intense reads. 

“So…” Marco began on the far end of the room. I look up to him, tearing my gaze away from the heavy Dickens. A small smile slowly crept up on his face. It didn’t seem too suspicious until it grew larger and eventually showed teeth. And even after that it grew until I was sure that sly grin would snap. 

“Jean. Wanna go on a date?”

~ . ~ . ~

The scariest thing Marco had ever done so far was jump off a diving board when he was nine. He wasn’t really scared of heights, but landing in water didn’t sound fun. Also the fact his dad had been the one to buy his trunks that year wasn’t helping since they were at least one size too big and ready to fall right off.  
This though, was completely different. This wasn’t life or death, this was just reckless. Marco originally felt calm about it, but once the words slipped out he realized it sounded like he was asking Jean out. Not that he would mind going out, because surely he wouldn’t, but he would soon be embarrassed with Jean’s anger.  
Instead, Marco was stunned to see Jean’s neck and ear grow a tiny bit red. The intense boy slowly began to become flushed and he scratched the back of his neck nervously. Even if this ended out badly, Marco at least got to see the cute side of Mr. Angry Jeanny Dog. 

“You know,” Marco began again reluctantly and regretfully, “as pals and stuff. I feel bad you didn’t do much yesterday so I figured we should go and something.” At the awaited conclusion of Marco’s words, Jean perked up and smiled feverishly.

“Well hell yeah Marco.” 

~ . ~ . ~

Icicles posed as daggers hung from the roof. They made me nervous as I wasn’t as accustomed to this icy hell like Marco was. I pointed out the foot longs but he only smiled and pulled me down to this old clunky car.  
“Marco.”  
“Hm?”  
“You do not intend to drive that thing… right?” Marco rolled his eyes and hopped in the driver’s seat. He pushed the passenger car door open and patted the seat.  
“You. Are. Very. Lame.” Once again, Marco showed his pearly whites to me.

We ended up listening to a Disney soundtrack disk. I never watched these as kids, but I still knew most of lyrics. Marco obviously did since he sung, more like screeched horribly, along to each song. Under the Sea was especially loud. I couldn’t stop chuckling. Marco was such a strange but happy person.

I don’t know who… but they would say. “What’s the point!? Why be normal if ya hate it? Be weird! Love life!” Love life. Those words always hung with me even if the speaker did not. It’s ironic though. I really can’t call myself living… but Armin repeatedly tells me to love what I have. Similar words.

Viva la Vida

Marco had a firm grip on the steering wheel. Watching the snowy wasteland drift onwards from the internal heat of the car was a cozy thing. Frankly, I could fall right back asleep. The only thing restraining me from doing so were all my nerves. This wasn’t like a date date right? I’d assume not but with Marco I feel like I never know. Originally he was a person (who I utterly adore) and I enjoyed joking with him since I… like don’t do that often. Of course now it feels like the ice is broken or the boundaries are bent.  
Beside me, I try not to stare at Marco’s firm freckled arms. I don’t what it is that makes driving so attractive. The leather wheel squeaks as he turns it. The old car lurches over and I find us in the parking lot to an ice skating rink. My eyes slowly roll over to find Marco’s.

“There is no way in hell—.”  
“Jean just be happy.” I shut right up and get out of the car. I listen to two people. Levi, because I have to and Marco just because I should. He leads me into the little blue building. Behind the front desk was a tall lanky kid. He had to only be around thirteen so his parents must own the place. Marco hands the boy money; I feel bad but hey, this was his treat. Marco asked me for my shoe size and I tell him which he responds with: “Jean you have tiny feet.”  
“Oh my fuck I do not!” Marco chuckled and handed me my skates. I feel my cheek be pinched.  
“Sheesh Jean. You’re even beginning to pout.” I flush a bit but go ahead and begin to switch my shoes, hoping he would just move on with a different subject.

 

Okay I had never been ice skating before. Truthfully, I didn’t think it’d be this difficult. The blades kept wobbling beneath me and before I knew it I was on my ass. Marco lapped me once then came and stopped to aid me. He helped me up and pulled me by the arm.  
“The more time I spend with you… the more I learn that you aren’t as much of a hotshot as I thought.” I grit my teeth. I wish I could just go and do a figure eight or some shit, but instead I tighten my grip on Marco since I fear I’m going to fall. He really doesn’t seem to mind. He slows down and looks forward helping me along as he glides calmly. His big brown eyes are such a rare thing and I catch myself staring.  
“What Jea—?” A large stone wall runs into Marco causing him to stumble.  
“Yo bastard!” He turns to reveal his face. He was a built man with a clean cut blonde hairdo. I’ m sure he said something, but my eyes were transfixed on his. The color was hidden behind his completely dilated pupils. There is either a really sexy person behind me or he’s one of my species… and hungry. I clench my jaw and watch him skate on. From the looks of it, this guy seems to be the one Levi is looking for. I lead Marco to the edge and dig out my phone. Levi is on my speed dial so I hit the button and listen to each monotonous beep waiting for his moody ass to answer. Of course it never did so it left me to deal with Mr. Thirsty over there. 

“Yo Jean? You alright?” I blink a few times and turn to Marco. Yeah I did not want to ditch him at all. In fact I’m tempted to just fucking leave my shoes and skate away with this mocha flavored barnacle. Yeah but no. Levi’d track me down and force me to watch the news article about how there was a mass murdering at the local skating rink but the murder is not known and—GOD DAMN MY LIFE! 

“Yeah Marco. I’m just peachy! Can you wait here?”  
“Yeah alright.” His voice was barely a whisper and I didn’t stick around to listen. I pulled myself over to Blondie and tugged on his coat.  
“Hi.” I began, hoping to sound at all bashful. “I just thought I was mean earlier and you’re kind of cute and…” I trail off and scratch the back of my head. I’m not a good actor but I hope he’s thirsty enough to see through it or notice I don’t smell exactly human. He gives off a fake smile that I know all too well and comes closer. 

Okay I needed more of a plan than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for your time! im excepting nine or ten chaps because im don with this and have many more greater ideas than you omg


	8. The Beginning (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new life lesson learned. 
> 
> (note/spoiler/warning below):  
> heeeeeeythishasnsfw heeeyyythishasotherships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISED ID HAVE THIS TO YOU SOONER IM A DIRTY LIAR OMG OUCHIE
> 
> enjoy it tho. slightly more interesting things actually happened. woop.
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO... please PM if your interested in any postion of my crew. I have a couple editors but i could always use more helpers. also ive gotten two or three anons asking for an audio play... so if your interested???? you guy should do that it would be totally rad. this fic isnt very popuar but i have a lot of support and love from the readers so thank!
> 
> also i could just use some friends so that position is open as well :)

He said his name was James. Personally, I found the name the most backwards thing ever for a big buff blonde as this one. It was my guess that it was some sort of alias he is using to make difficult to be traced back to. Luckily the police won’t be an issue much longer for this dude.  
To distract Marco I told him to go get hot chocolate. It had to hurt his feelings to see me go ahead and just strut out of the building with some random man. Although I felt regretful, adrenaline was beginning to kick in, as was the exciting though of a proud Levi. Best fucking Christmas present ever! 

“This is my car.” ‘James’s voice was deep but it was actually sort of pleasant to listen to… like a father’s. I glance up to find myself behind a large white van. You know, one of those old square shady ones? Yeah well, it looks like I’m going to get laid or murdered. Okay, as tempting as that is I need to focus.

“Oh… it’s nice.” I mutter. He turns his back to me to unlock the trunk. I take the opportunity to sling my arm around his neck and use the other to strengthen it. Alone, this guy was stronger than me, but I was cutting of his aorta or some shit. I don’t really know what I did to be honest; I learned it off a television show. Mr. Falsely-Named-James sunk to the icy concrete. I pray for the first damn time ever that no one saw me or will see me. I pick this tall ass burly mofo halfway up and fling him into the trunk of his own car. Next I should go and deliver him off to the basement, but I have Marco to deal with. I try Levi’s cell again. Two rings then an answer.  
“What the hell Jean? Miss me already?”  
“What? No. I think I just caught that guy you’re out searching for.”  
“No fucking way. Where are you?” Levi’s husky voice sounded more relieved than anything.  
“The ice skating rink, by the old train station.”  
“On my way.” I lock my phone, shut the doors, lock it with the now stolen keys, and head back inside. 

My frostbitten nose found instant happiness once I entered the well heated building. Marco waved me over to a small table. I hope he wasn’t sitting here long, but it didn’t feel like I took an extended period of time. I graciously take the paper cup of hot coco and bring it to my lips. It smelled good, but I got such a small sip of the scalding liquid I didn’t really taste it.  
“Let’s take a break for a bit Marco. We can just go and walk around.” Of course my true intent was more along the lines of spying on my James friend and making sure he stays tuckered out. Marco nods his heads to my idea and stands up. He adjusts his navy scarf and offers me a hand. “I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it.” Oh great. Now I am hearing SpongeBob quotes in my head. We know how the episode ends up. He needs the water. I need the hand.  
“Thanks.” I say as I take his hand to aid me in standing up. 

 

Marco was annoyed, angry, sad, or disappointed. If anything, he was just damn curious. His friend, the dweeb, AKA Jean, was an attractive person who had a secret life. That is about all Marco has gathered from him. Maybe Jean was a secret agent or a mass murderer… whatever he was, Marco was determined to figure it out. Of course if he was a murderer, there may be some complications, but for the most part Jean seemed like a decent guy… trustworthy even. Today had been going so smoothly that Marco forgot about the secret up until now. Jean was, to an extent, a very normal person. Marco saw wonderful things in him, and every time something weird happened, the wonderful things didn’t hide or shatter. Instead, Marco could see Jean as a troubled human. He was a person with a heavy burden. Lonely, was his most human characteristic. Jean had to be so severely lonely. Marco had been deserted once as well. The Shy Awkward Kid: Directed by Marco Bodt. Being able to empathize with Jean made their relationship, in Marco’s view, more intimate. It didn’t seem like Jean had any other true friends, so if Marco was breaking through to him, they were on a good track. It may be a bit unrequited, but to Marco, Jean was a diamond in the rough, so spending time with the rare jewel meant enough.

“Marco?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Levi, that guy I live with y’know? Well, he’s here… just bear with me for a moment.” Marco smiled. He had to appear to be annoyed or upset, but instead he was completely content. Watching Jean do this secret stuff was entertaining and always helped him learn more about the boy. Not to mention, Marco was just blatantly curious about everything, so he always watched from the corner with wide eyes.  
Levi was still short. He seemed a little agitated most all the time, but if you think about it, the guy is just always busy. According to Jean, Levi is like the dad of the group. He is the one who pays the bills, teaches the children, and protects over them. It may be a bit of an exaggeration but it was still basically true. Levi nodded along to everything Jean was saying and seemed to be earnestly listening. Marco had to, at the very least, be grateful that Jean had this person… even if he complains about the shorty nonstop. 

“…in the end I left him knocked out in this van.” Marco heard the end of Jean’s speech as he and Levi headed towards him. (Actually towards the van he was standing by but same difference.)  
“I have admit Jean you handled the situation fairly well.” Levi gave Jean probably what was the nicest face he could muster as he took the key from Jean. After some jiggling on the lock, the doors swung open to reveal the sleeping passenger. Marco instantly recognized him as the guy from ice skating rink. He assumed he was just more business for Jean, but this completely put his mind at ease.  
Levi sighed and put a lighter and a nearly empty paper carton out of the pocket of his grey fur coat. He lit himself a cigarette and stared at the motionless body. The smell of smoke begin to fill the iced air. Marco used to not be keen on the smell, but he’s grown used to it since Jean is such an avid smoker.  
“Hey.” Levi said, nudging the leg of the sleeper. “Erwin get up.”  
“WAIT LEVI YOU—!”  
“Jean go have fun. Be home by six? We need to talk. Also, this is Marco right? He’s seen a lot and I know you remember what I’ve told you. You can bring him if you like.” And with that Levi closed the door of the van and headed towards the driver’s seat. “See you then.” 

 

The atmosphere didn’t remain heavy for long. The conversation drifted quickly into the what-do-we-do-next phase. I offered a legit restaurant or just poke around town but Marco claimed that most large businesses were closed the day after Thanksgiving unless I wish to go to Walmart or something. I fought him on this for a while until he proved to me, by driving me around, that most large businesses were in fact closed. I never liked being wrong… no one does. But it really bothers me. So much to the point Marco took a picture of my pouting face without me knowing until he showed me. Of course this resulted in another fight, this one being more physical than the last. I tried to delete the picture but Marco bested me. His lanky arms could reach way farther than mine. To make up for it Marco said he’d take me to see a movie. 

This was a huge deal. Why? Because the only damn cinema open is the family-owned Pixis Cinema. It may be trashy… but it had comfy seats and free food. The ultimate downside to the place was the ticket price. Instead of five dollars it was ten, or instead of seven it was fourteen. The prices were always doubled that of an average theater. In my opinion, it was worth it. 

The building was neatly located on the end of a street. It was small and the walls were strictly concrete with that cheap plastic roof stuff. Yeah I’m not much of a hardware man. Inside of the old building, behind the two glass doors was the ever popular movie theater get-up. The musty nineties carpet with the big plastic spinning popcorn bowl to top it off. Perfect.  
People didn’t seem to want to come see a movie on such a hung-over day as this one.  
“So Jean… What’ll it be? A romantic comedy or a bloody zombie movie.” Marco urged me to choose by poking me in the cheek.  
“Hey watch it Marco! Besides, you oughta know my definite answer—.”  
“—Romantic comedy.” 

Okay I had to punch Marco in the arm for that.  
“Jean! You know it’s true.”  
“Yeah sorry pal but no. We are going to watch the zombie one.”  
“Okay,” Marco began, winking at me. Creepy. “Don’t blame me if you get scared.”

Marco had us seated in the very front row. And in the very front row… it was completely filled with love seats. Okay, maybe this is just me having wishful thinking, but I can’t help but to believe that he chose the row on purpose. I mean the ENTIRE FUCKING THEATER had only one person and he appeared to have been sleeping there for the past few days. So, in my opinion, it was not coincidental that Marco chose the front row… but again, wishful thinking.  
Earlier was the big reveal to Marco that I do not have money. I get about twenty bucks from Levi when he’s feeling generous, that’s about it. Tickets were bought for me once again, as was a large bucket of popcorn to share and coke to rinse it down. I kind of felt bad, but I was a little star struck since this felt so similar to a date. 

“Jean? You asleep?”  
“What?” Marco giggled, like fucking giggled.  
“Jean your eyes were closed.”  
“Were they?” Wow maybe I was asleep. I really don’t think I have been sleep deprived or anything…  
“Hush the movie is starting.” All around me the lights go down to a soft glow that’s barely even noticeable. The movie begins with a heavy hipster cliché that I should’ve seen coming. 

It was when the main characters started to undress each other in some old post-apocalyptic home that has nothing but a bed when I felt it. An arm slithered its way around my shoulder. God bless the lights being dimmed since my face was obviously the reddest damn thing ever. My stomach dropped and I almost felt sick. I fucking kill people for a living but this was way more nerve-racking. I mean, it was just a joke right. No, it’s just more comfortable this way. Oh god I’m nervous. Sweaty palms, beating heart, my stomach dropping… I’m way too far in this for a fudging… killer.  
“You chose a good movie Jean.” Marco’s voice was a warm whisper in my ear, even though he chuckled. The usually perky Marco was now vibrating my bones with his low voice. What made matters worse, Marco kept his face close to mine. He did not dare to pull back.  
“Of course I chose a—” I’d never get to finish that sentence. Marco’s honeyed lips found their way to mine. This was not the time for some sarcastic remark or crude statement. This was the time to let his hand slide down my back and mine to find its way into his now tousled hair. Truthfully I wasn’t very familiar with kissing except for a few drunk girls, but I knew how movie theater make out sessions went. Those kisses always end up heated and heavy. This though, this was not like that at all. It was tender, soft, and sweet. Nothing not was pressured. Marco was the first one to pull away.  
“Oh. Sorry, I—.”  
“Shut up.”  
With that, Marco leaned back in. This time he used both his hands to massage my chest and neck. A tightness arises in my pants and my cheeks turn to an even pinker shade. An arousing chuckle came from Marco and I couldn’t help but to feel as embarrassed as possible. Marco’s fingertips slowly brushed down to the button of my pants. I swallow nervously as he tugs them open and finds my hardened dick. He hums calmly and begins sucking on my neck as he stroked my shaft. His movements felt so strong and sure while I was shaking with both excitement and pleasure.  
A gasp escaped from my lips as precome dripped on to Marco’s hand. That was motivating enough for him to pump my cock even faster until I came. My head was thrown back onto the seat’s cushion as the warm liquid spilled out of me. Marco kissed my cheek and smiled.  
“I didn’t expect that to happen.” I glare up at him.  
“Yeah neither did I.” Marco wiped his hand off on a napkin and I fixed my pants. He slid his hand into mine and we finished the movie.

Just like that.

 

Marco and I were on our way back to my place when I got a text from Levi. It was directing me to come back ‘immediately’ and to ahead and bring Marco. Why? I don’t know. Alas, I do as told and bring Marco into the stuffy basement. He seemed more surprised than me to see the blonde buff man named “Erwin”.  
“Marco,” Levi began instructing, “Go wait upstairs.” He looks at me before nodding and doing as asked.  
“Welcome back Jean.”  
“What the hell even is this? Why isn’t he out of the country or dead?”  
“Quiet Jean.”  
“Don’t you fucking tell me to be quiet you damn munchkin! This is fucking—”  
“Jean.” Survival guide rule number one: never call Levi short. Rule number two: never back talk him. I just did both these things and I’m fucked. So very fucked.  
“Jean. This man is Erwin Smith. Like us he is a vampire.” I hated that word. “It looks like he was doing bad things. However he was killing off a cult-like group called the Titans. These so-called Titans, were after the Key Vampire. The Key Vampire is you. In short, Mr. Smith here was watching after you, doing you a favor.”  
“What the hell does that mean?”  
“It means you are the chosen one. Originally this vampire race was created to serve under royalty. And every hundred or so years the one made to serve directly under Him or Her is born with blood of the holy. A.K.A., you.” I sit my confused ass down on the putrid couch and glance up to Levi and then Erwin.  
“Jean.” The new member of the clan said, “Royalty no longer exists… that bloodline has ceased. But you still have the holy blood meaning you can create a vampire on your own… no ritual of twenty of us. Don’t abuse the power.”  
“I… I won’t.”  
“Now, about Marco…” Levi began again. “I had you bring him since I understand he is your friend. I know it is difficult and painful to make non-vampire friends. He is here for you to tell him the truth. It will be easier if he knows. Erwin can instruct you in a memory swipe if he doesn’t handle it well and he needs to forget the information.”  
“I don’t want to tell him.”  
“You’re too close to him not to.”  
“I don’t want to.” Anger boiled inside me. I promised myself I wouldn’t drag the freckled dojo master into this.  
“Jean, you have to.” Levi’s voice sounded like a growl.  
“No!” I shove Levi away, forgetting the vampire’s strength. He flung back into the wall and broke the drywall. Fuck. Erwin grabbed my shoulder and shoved me down on the couch.  
“It is for the best.” I look into the fatherly figure’s eyes and nod slightly.  
“Fine.” I stand up and go upstairs to face Marco and to face myself. 

 

Erwin Smith was a one-hundred-and-sixty-seven year old vampire. If someone asked, he’d say he was twenty-nine. Erwin was born on a farm in Europe that wasn’t very wealthy. To feed his self and his family he became engaged to a wealthy farm girl when he was twenty nine. Her name was Hannah. Her pretty auburn hair was the talk in the town’s cavern. Most men were jealous of Erwin and his catch, all men except Levi. Levi never even looked at Hannah for more than a second.  
“So Levi, you must like some girl then… if you don’t like Hannah? Who is it?”  
“No one Erwin.”  
“That’s not true is it?”  
“Screw off.”  
“Tell me.”  
“No.”  
“Please.”  
“Dammit Erwin. Don’t you fucking get it?” Levi was seated on a tree stump and he shut his book to glare at Erwin. “I have lived my life simply and calmly I don’t need you fucking me over right now.”  
“Levi what the hell?”  
“Erwin I like you. No I fucking love you.” The blonde swallowed anxiously.  
“Then why didn’t you say something?”  
“Because.” Levi looked directly into Erwin’s eyes as he revealed his fangs. “I’m a vampire.”  
The engagement was dismissed when Erwin fell very ill. He became immobile and barely able to keep any food down.  
“Levi please shoot me.”  
“Fuck no Erwin. You have a girl to go back to.” Erwin laughed a sarcastic breathy chuckle. “No man she has some Franz guy. He’s a good kid. Young. Handy. He’ll be good for her.”  
“Erwin knock it off. You sound like your dying.”  
“I am.” Levi sat down on the chair beside the bed and held onto Erwin’s arm. “No. You can’t leave me.” Erwin smiled, “Riiiight you’re in love with me.”  
“Bastard.”  
“Speaking your own words here.” Levi shook his head.  
Erwin began to throw up again. He didn’t stop until about two hours later, it being very late now Levi rested his head on the bed looking away from Erwin.  
“What if I could save you?”  
“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

Levi was Erwin’s transfer sponsor and his first love. Erwin should have joined Levi’s nearly empty clan (only Mikasa at the time) and lived on forever with him. Things didn’t go smoothly however. Erwin became scared of his power and self and ran away. Being found by Levi now, over a hundred years later, was a difficult thing.  
“Erwin. I have a small clan now. And believe it or not, they matter to me. These vampire college kids are like my screwy children okay? The thing is, I still welcome you here. This clan is always open to you.”  
“I’ll think about it.”

 

Heading up the stairs was one of the most nerve wracking things I have ever done. I was falling for this freckled dweeb pretty fast and the fact he gave me a hand job not even an hour ago wasn’t helping. On the upper floor, Marco was again found seated at the kitchen table watching television. This time he was watching an old sitcom instead of the news.  
“Hey sunshine! Why the gloomy face?” Marco was never afraid to address me. I like that.  
“Marco… do you still want an explanation for everything?” He took in a deep breath and turned down the TV.  
“Only if you’re ready.”  
“I am.”  
“I’m all ears.”  
Okay how the fuck do I do this? I mean I can’t just use the vampire word can i? That’ll be too unbelievable.  
“Marco, I’m a vampire.” JEAN FUCKING KIRSCHSTEIN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY? I THOUGHT IT WAS DECIDED YOU WERE GING TO BE GENTLE AND NOT JUST FLOP IT ON HIM YOU DAMN IDIOT!  
“Okay Jean.”  
“Wait. What?”  
“Jean. A whole bunch of worse ideas had gone through my mind. Now I know the truth. To me, this isn’t a threat. This is a welcome mat to you and to a beginning. Thank you.”  
“You’re too nice.”  
“Perhaps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy??? i hope it was good.
> 
> expect one or two more chapters HOLY SHIT EXCITED
> 
> PLEASE READ:  
> please message if your interested in any positions of my crew. I have a couple editors but i could always use more helpers. also ive gotten two or three anons asking for an audio play... so if your interested???? you guy should do that it would be totally rad. this fic isnt very famous but i have a lot of support and love from the readers so thank!
> 
> also i could just use some friends so that position is open as well
> 
>  
> 
> CONTACT INFO:  
> email: toxiplu@gmail.com  
> tumblr: edenslost.tumblr.com  
> skype: kirschstiny
> 
> come love me and i thank you!


	9. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco is more understanding than expected and Jean is as not understanding as expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry for many things

I’m not familiar with plane crashes or falling in love, but I know that they had to feel alike. It was quick, all at once, and frightening as hell. Somehow, those nerdy freckled cheeks and big brown puppy dog eyes snaked their way inside of me and I found myself stranded all alone, completely and undoubtedly in love with them.  
This should also be the prime time of my lengthened life but instead it was the scariest. I thought I wanted Marco, and him to know and accept my secret. Now that I’ve obtained these things, I realize I just want Marco and myself in a bubble; away from everything. This conclusion came to me when I remembered I don’t age, I only get to live in a place for a year or two thanks to Eren, and also when Marco asked me about his roommate Reiner. It turns out Reiner went missing but never turned up pale and dead like the previous victims. Marco put the pieces together to figure out that a rogue vampire was the one responsible for the murders, but he nor I could figure out why Reiner’s body hasn’t been found yet. Of course when speaking to Marco I don’t say body since he still has such strong hope that he is still alive. I see why, he is friends with the guy. If I were in his position I would wish for Reiner to be alive as well. Truthfully I’m rooting for this stranger now. I may be a vampire, but I know right from wrong. 

Thanksgiving came and went, and now there is only a week or so until the much treasured Christmas holiday arrives. Marco and I spend his free time with each other. We do absolutely nothing, but it still means a lot. I feel like Christmas, the one holiday that has some remaining luster for me, should be spent with Marco and me showing appreciation. Fucking lame, I know… but I mean it. I mean Jesus fucking Christ on a stick, oh shit that was rude, I really like the guy and he actually knows what the shitfuck I am. These aren’t even real curse words anymore God fucking damn.  
Okay, well, I shouldn’t be focusing on my weird fixation Marco, because right now the small clan is seated in the basement listening to Erwin. 

Oh yeah, Erwin.

My thoughts like to ignore Erwin. It’s not like I hate the guy, he’s just sort of… I don’t fucking know, I think he seems more like a dad then a fellow vampire. Levi always had a fatherly figure to me, but this guy, I mean damn, he even pats us on the back when we are having difficulties or some shit. I don’t know, I may just be being prejudice, but he seems to look down on me. Yeah, so what I’m a bit lanky for a vamp, and a cuss a tad much, and even brought a human into this shit situation, but it’s not like I’m a fucking shitfucker who’s going to destroy the entire clan. 

Ugh I need some medication I’m in a bad mood. Nah, I just need Marco. 

I dig out my phone and try to hide it behind my knees that were pulled up to my chest. I don’t need ‘Dad’ bitching me out. 

To Freckled Babe: yo are you free 2nite?

From Freckled Babe: Uuh, well, I need to study…

To Freckled Babe: I can help you

“Ey, Kirschtein! Are you listening?” Papa Erwin stepped over to me, his furry blond eyebrows came closer, one raised. “Please guarantee me that you aren’t on your phone.” Erwin opened his hand and curled his fingers towards himself to indicate me to hand my phone over. God fucking hell no. 

Yeah but you don’t stand up to Papa Erwin. I toss him my phone and can see Levi smirking over in the corner. Oh yeah, he and Erwin some reason aren’t just friends but like fucking lovers I swear to peanut butter.  
“Now as I was saying…” Erwin began again. “We need to protect the Key Vampire. This rogue vampire attack is actually the work of two people. From this point on, I want to address these vampires as the Titan Duo, since that is what they are. Eren, Mikasa, Armin… I don’t know your relationship status with Jeanny over here, but protect him. Okay, he’s your younger brother in some sense. Please?” I look over to the three seated snuggly on my most favorite couch. Armin nodded and Mikasa pinched Eren’s ear to make him behave. She never really was fond of me, but I’m so fucking thankful for her at times like these. 

Armin’s small little head perked up suddenly and he raised his hand a bit so he could start talking.  
“Wait… how do you know it is two vampires instead of one?” A smiling Erwin pointed at Armin and shook his hand up and down.  
“Ah, good question. It’s a simple answer really. One of the Titans has to beat the victim, generally focusing on their legs, in order for them to die or be knocked out before feasting. The bites by this killer are generally postmortem. Now the other Titan is a different story. This one is obviously stronger and does not kill the victim before their dinner. The victim, instead of being beaten, is drained of their blood as a cause of death.” Erwin turned to Levi and shrugged. “Armin does that answer your question?”  
“Uh,” he began, slightly disturbed, “Yeah I guess.” 

Eren was bubbling with annoyance at the other end of the couch. Eventually his heated water boiled over and he spoke up.  
“Look, I have zip clue what the hell you’re talking about and I don’t care. We need to watch Baby Jean’s back I got it. Is there anything else? How do we catch these motherfuckers?”

Erwin cleared his throat all manly like and turned to Levi. Levi, who has been happily sitting in the corner smoking a cigarette rolled his eyes and came over.  
“Okay you batshitters. Think of this as one of your silly horror movies for a moment. The Key Vampire, AKA Jean over here, carries the holy blood our race needs to survive. If he dies, then all vampires will starve since blood will not satisfy us any longer. So we actually do need Jean. The Titans, the small group of vampires who wish for us to lose existence for some bullshit reason, are after the Key Vampire. In the end we need to take out these Titan freaks. To find them, we need to find the Holy. Mr. or Mrs. Holy is just a human who is also a virgin. Yeah a lot of virgin humans exist, but this one is the chosen one of the human race. In past years the Holy has been the enemy, or the near opposite of the chosen one.”  
Eren scratched his head and then kicked an empty can that was on the ground. Fucking hell he is going to go through one of his shit phases.  
“What the damn fuck is any of this?! Do I fucking need a damn Holy human? No fucking way! I’ll just god damn kill the Titans! FUCK THE FUCKING TITANS!”  
“Eren calm down.” Mikasa tugged on Eren’s sleeve and got him to chill.  
“Eren,” Levi began again, “titans are… strong. They are a bit more than a vampire okay? Just find Jean’s virgin enemy or opposite and then they will lead us, perhaps unknowingly, to the Titans and they will handle the rest.” Eren nodded and grit his teeth together to refrain him from lashing out. 

“Okay class dismissed.” Erwin joked, tossing my phone back.

1 unread message

 

Marco ended up letting me go to his dorm for the first time in a while now. He said he doesn’t like spending a lot of time there since Reiner hasn’t showed up yet and Bertholdt hasn’t talked to him for quite a while now either. Marco guess Bert was probably upset and just focusing on studies. Whatever the situation I feel bad for Marco. I do have to be greedy though, having him all to myself is a wonderful thing, I just do wish it was a bit happier Marco. 

Anyways, I made it to the dorm just fine and ended jumping up to the window again. I really don’t like using the door for some damn reason. Before jumping up however, I plucked a rose from the front garden and held it with my mouth. Luckily Marco had his window wide open as if expecting me. I sat down on the sill and leaned back against the side of the window. Marco had been sitting on his little dorm bed with a big book on his lap. Now, however, he was gazing straight up at me. Those bug brown puppy dog eyes were surrounded by blushing skin. I tried not to blush myself, but I know I failed. Marco silently walked over, the golden sun slowly setting behind me, and slid the rose out from my mouth. It was quickly replaced with his sweet lips and saliva. 

Fucking romantic. 

 

We did actually study a bit. I sat on Marco’s lap as he played with my hair and I read to him his gross text book stuff. Every now and then I would ask a question and he would simply reply with an ‘hm?’ or an ‘uh, what?’ I always answered by poking him in the nose and reminding him that he does actually have a test tomorrow.  
This was comfortable and wonderful. I tried to ignore the fact that it wouldn’t last forever, but in the long run I had to admit I was happy. Yeah maybe I was being targeted by some freakishly buff vampires and my one true love will only last for so long, but I’m happy. And no matter what, I’m finally fucking okay with this lengthened life to end. Becoming a vampire was a second chance for me to live a life. I may have wasted this one as well, but at least Marco was in this round. 

"You in there Jean?" Oh shit… I do this way too often. I guess I do think more than people give me credit for.  
“Yeah... yeah… We were on some weird Newton Gravity thing right?” Marco let out a breathy laugh and he closed the textbook.  
“Yeah something like that. I think I’m done with studying for the night though.” This took me by surprise. It’s nearly ten at night and I figured he would want to cram until midnight and then shoo me away. But instead, my freckled hero threw the book to the side and pull he onto his lap. I could feel my eyes widen with shock, but soon I found my back being settled further into Marco’s chest and I slowly begin to engulf myself in the warm sugary scent of Marco’s.  
“Is… is this alright?” He asks, stuttering a bit from his own nervousness. I try to hide my smile as I nod into his chest and hold onto his arms wrapped around my waist. Even though I wish it were completely possible for me to forget it, I can’t. The thought of, ‘I’m a fucking vampire Marco I could kill you if I get thirsty’, keeps finding its way back to me. He doesn’t seem to mind however. It’s as if somehow, Marco grew to trust me. I don’t know how, but I’m pretty damn grateful. He’s giving me, for the first time in a long ass time, warm hugs and the occasional slobbery kiss. I truly couldn’t ask for more than some form of love to be returned, yet here I am, Marco clinging onto me just as much as I am of him. 

Words really aren’t needed at this time. But for some reason, strings of sentences begin forming at the tip of my tongue.  
“Marco,” I begin, trying not to concentrate on his thumb rubbing tender circles on the back of my hand, “I know you told me not to ask… but are you sure that—.” I’m interrupted by him sloppily kissing my ear and licking my neck. At first I blush, but then I come to realize how wonderful his touches feel. Every place he touches me feels extra sensitive. As he moved up and down from my shoulder to my ear, his breaths deepen. It’s when I let out my own winded breath that Marco pulls his mouth away a bit and actually answers what I was about to say.  
“Jean, listen to me. I’m not going to repeat myself. I have faith in you. I trust you and I… I protect me. Not because I love you the most, but because you are the strongest.” My stomach was dropping downwards through an endless black pit. Not because of what he said, but because of the one repeated word. Love. I suppose I could use the same word to describe my feelings, but hearing it roll so smoothly off of Marco’s tongue easily made my heart lurch. At first it made me sad, for whatever reason. Perhaps it was guilt creeping up on me again. But once he placed his lips atop my own, any negative feelings inside me diminished and were replaced by some heavy feeling of excitement, happiness, and gratitude. 

I really didn’t have time to think though. Marco’s plush lips were already tracing the lines of my skin. Goosebumps covered my skin, most likely from arousal.  
“Hey Mar—.” My breathing hitches and Marco turns me around so we’re face to face, me still on his lap. His fingers calmly play with my nipples through my shirt as he tongue fought its way into mine. I’m not very familiar with these types of things, but I can tell Marco is somehow a master. By the time we both are breathing heavily, Marco had already slipped both our shirts off and was already working on the button of my pants.  
“I…I can stop if you want me to.” Marco said even though he didn’t sound so sure.  
“No. Go ahead.” As little as I wanted to admit it, my pants already felt tight just from this. Marco simply smiled and undid my pants then helped me slid out of them. I do the same for him with a bit less finesse. My tongue pushes against his and it’s all I notice until I’m pushed onto my back and Marco climbs over me. I take a deep breath as his hand finds its way to my a-little-too-hard dick. I let out a small gasp and Marco only smiles, then leans back. I feel something warm and wet encase my dick. I’m surprised with what I see when I crane my neck to glance over. Marco was giving me a legendary blowjob. It’s kinda embarrassing, but it feels so damn good. He used his tongue to lick over all my favorite spots and occasionally sucking on it entirely. This was toe-curling pleasure. Short gasps escaped my mouth as I could feel my lower half throb.

“Marco.” My voice was quiet and strained. I was trying to beg him to stop, but my mind was somewhere else and I couldn’t properly speak. Liquid was dripping out the side of Marco’s mouth and I had to wonder if it was saliva or precome. Most likely it was a mixture of both. I feel like it should disgust me, but the watery sucking noises coming from down below are really exciting. It was right when I was at my limit when Marco pulled away and lean back over me. I turn my face away but he pulls it back to face him. I’m red completely throughout my body and Marco leaves a tender kiss on my neck. His hips slowly fall down onto my, our hardened dicks colliding and attacking each other. He releases a deep groan and my body trembles under his weight. 

We both were caught up in the rapid movements but Marco’s hand sill slides its way into mine. Hands held, and hips banging against each other, we share heated breaths and moans. He could tell that I was about to come since he speeds up and grinds down even harder. I bite my tongue to try and attempt holding back a loud yelp but it nearly fails. The sticky liquid pours out of me, and a moment later Marco does the same. 

 

The two of us ended up snuggling on his dorm bed. We sat in silence for a couple hours, occasionally dosing off. Marco was the one who said something finally.  
“Yeah, it’s decided.”  
“What is?”  
“I love you.” Fuck. “I mean, it’s not because you are my first…” Fuuuck. “Even though we are opposites we get along.”

I never, ever, asked for this. 

I’m sorry Marco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay yeah  
> 1\. sorry this took so long & its short  
> 2\. i do hope you enjoyed it tho  
> 3\. acrual good plot shit is well on its way  
> 3.5 oh i didnt have time to proofread i hope it wasnt too bad  
> 4\. i have many great workers for this now... ask me if you would like to join the crew  
> 5\. thanks for all the lovin, i get more and more hits each day wowie  
> 6\. contact info below
> 
> email: toxiplu@gmail.com  
> tumblr: edenslost  
> skype: kirschstiny  
> 


	10. Start of the Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco is happy. Jean is happy. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not good at summaries and this chapter was hard to write so its choppy and fast paced oh well enjoy the not proof read chapter

“Okay, my turn.” Marco swirled the cream around with a stirrer thinking of a question. This coffee shop was beginning to become a regular place for us. It was winter break ever since Thanksgiving however Marco has a couple online classes or some bullshit of the sort. So this quiet little café served as a study place well. I didn’t have to study nor was I very helpful for Marco, but he let me sit beside him and awkwardly smell him with my extreme sense of smell and stare at him. I’ve been around the block more than once and can understand what’s socially acceptable, but around Marco but natural instincts always peek through and I find myself being a little strange. Oh well, Marco never seems to mind.

Today, however, we weren’t studying, we were drinking coffee and simply being silly.  
“Alright,” Marco began, finally thinking of a question. “Where were you born? I’m sure you’ve traveled around quite a bit in your… time.” Marco gave a shy smile, hoping he didn’t sound rude. He knows now that vampires can in fact live forever if we stay… hydrated.  
“First of all Marco, I’m not that damn old.” I roll my eyes and quiet my voice down just a bit. “I was born in 1952... So I’m only like sixty-two years old.” Marco shook his head while laughing.  
“Sixty-two huh? You could be my grandfather he said, resting his chin on his hand, leaning into me. Once more I roll my eyes.  
“Grandfather? Nah.” I say leaning in for a quick kiss. He blushes, as I’m sure I do as well, and we both pull back.  
“Jean you still haven’t answered the question though.”  
“Yeah yeah. I was actually born in Paris, but I moved to the states when I was around fifteen.”  
“Okay wait. 1950’s Paris? Jean that had to be so cool!”  
“Meh, a lot of mobsters and flappers.” Marco’s face was beaming, fucking beaming, when I said that. I presume when you were born in the nineties the fifties time period seems so distant and impossible.  
“So wait,” Marco said, way too excited about this whole thing, “Can you speak French?”  
“Oui, bien sûr que je peux.”  
“Yeah I have no clue what you just said but it was hot.” Hearing Marco say that was both extremely and amusing and embarrassing. He giggled and ask me to say a few more things in my native tongue. Some took a second for me to figure out considering I haven’t really spoke it about fifty years.

Eventually it was when Marco was beginning to snort when I said ‘I’m a monkey butt and a half’ in French that I moved on with the game.  
“Okay Marco let’s settle down.” I said, slightly annoyed but really just embarrassed. “It’s my turn. So… let’s see. Oh, okay, what do you want to be when you’re out of college? What is the dream career?”  
“Vampire hunter.” He deadpanned. I choke on my coffee and a customer glances up at us. Marco gives him a little wave as I use my napkin to wipe up the liquid I may or may not have just spit out. Marco, again, was laughing so hard he was snorting, and in tears. I chuckle a bit just from his laughter but tell him that it wasn’t funny once he settled down.  
“Okay Marco, be real this time… what’s the big dream?”  
“Okay, okay,” he said, wiping a tear away from his eye, “I’m majoring to be a medical nurse right now, but I’ve always thought owning a downtown bakery sounded fun.” A bakery? A fucking bakery?! Who the hell is this guy?  
“You should do it.”  
“What?”  
“Rent a small shop downtown and you’ll have yourself a bakery!”  
“I love your enthusiasm but it really isn’t possible.” Marco replied calmly before finishing off his coffee.  
“And why not?”  
“Jean, I don’t have the money and definitely not the skill. Truthfully I haven’t baked something since Christmas cookies last year with my sister. And I hate to break it to you, but they kinda sucked.”  
“Buuut Marcoooo.” Marco smiled and stood up.  
“Now you are sounding like my sister Jean! Look, I actually have to drive down to Jinae to meet up with my cousins for bowling.” I stood up as well, stretched my back out, and then turned to Marco.  
“DUDE!? Why wasn’t I invited?”  
“Family only. Now listen Jeanny Boy,” he began, sounding too similar to Eren, “I know you probably have nothing to do, but you can’t come.” With that Marco gave me a kiss on the cheek and left me alone in the café pouting like a baby.

 

* * *

 

Marco pulled his car into the parking lot of the city library, AKA the last place Jean Kirchstein would ever go to on his own will. Two days ago Marco received a text from the infamous Levi ordering him to go to the library’s study room #3 on this day at this time and to keep it a secret. Truthfully, Marco trusted Levi. But this felt weird without Jean. Does Marco have the right to meet up with this guy without Jean knowing? Well I have the right of course, but is this morally okay? I just don’t know.

Study room #3 is always empty as the light is broken and for some reason the chairs never match. That and next to it is the notorious study room #4, strictly used for sexual purposes only. So when Marco arrived into the study room, the door shut behind him and a chair was put on the knob so it couldn’t open. Both Levi and Erwin, whom he had only met once, were there.

“Sit Marco.” Spoke Erwin gently, addressing the single chair in the room. This looked a bit suspicious.

 

* * *

 

I’m thirsty.

I was starting to notice while hanging out with Marco, but I forbid myself to have a single drop of blood be thought of around him, so I shoved all primal instincts away. I can only do that for so long however. When he left, I found myself a spluttering mess. Luckily the café was nearly empty because I had to look fucking weird scratching my throat in attempt to draw my blood. I quickly snatched up my coffee cup and let any remains of the liquid slither down my throat in attempt to moisturize my arid throat.

Ugh of fucking course it doesn’t do shit. If anything the increasingly revolting taste of the bitter liquid only made my dehydration worse. I offer of a curt cough before eventually dashing out the café. Of course today some winter parade was going on. It was a small local thing but the thin walkways were still completely crowded. I grit my teeth and try not to breathe. I begin to walk through the crowd, elbowing those more stubborn than others.

 

* * *

 

Marco did end up taking a seat in the chair. But Levi nor Erwin tied him to it or beat him up asking for ‘answers’. In fact, they were pretty quiet. Levi leaned against the wall, breathing deeply and Erwin doing the same, but standing straight but, brushing his hair back with his hand. He let a stream of stressed air blow through his nostrils before glancing at Marco.  
“Marco,” he began, refocusing his mind. “I don’t want to get into details with you especially on certain matters. One, because it is mostly unnecessary, and two because I’m not sure Levi or I have the right to be the ones to tell you.” At this he fixed his stance and tried to take pressure off his feet. Marco truthfully didn’t feel alarmed or sense any form of danger, yet he remained wary. His eyes fixated to the back of the small room to Levi, who took a step closer.  
“Prolix as ever Erwin. Here’s the deal kid. You’re more damn important than you think. Sorry to say this, but Jean is my first priority, not you. Protect Jean, don’t leave town, and don’t get too close with new strangers or anything. Look… I don’t know what going to happen to you, but I’ll try my damndest to keep ya alive… for Jean’s fucking wellbeing of course. So really Marco, don’t be stupid and watch your boyfriend. You’re both going to need it.” Levi opened the door. “Let’s go Erwin.”

 

* * *

 

I’m sweating a fucking ton. While my body is drenched in a cold sweat my throat was aching for a single drop of blood. My keen sense of smell made every single human appear as a damn Thanksgiving feast. None of these humans even felt real anymore, just targets, victims, and prey. I feel so god damn alone now, surrounded by not even strangers but bodies that could be equally as destructive as me. As I pushed through a crowd, searching for a damn single alleyway or corner without this crazy ass mass of people, the blood flowing to and from my heart began to be audible to my ears. It was the only serene thing at the moment. It sounded like a waterfall—no just surging water. It reminded me of my childhood, all those many years ago, when playing in water at a small park or pond was the most splendid treat of the summer. I loved water, even after it killed me. Even after I found myself being pulled under crashing waves, unable to find the surface.

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

My heart beat sounds the same as the last time I died. That fast but stable beat. It had lulled me to sleep.

 

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

“Marco one last thing,” Erwin began cocking his head around to face Marco.

 

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

I was going to scream. Blood flew out of my mouth and into my hand: I quickly slurped it up.

 

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

“I shouldn’t tell you this Marco but make of it what you will…”

 

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

I bring both my hands to my throat, coughing hideously.

 

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

“Marco, in order for Jean to survive this, your soul must depart from your body. This means that, Marco, you have to die.”

 

ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum

 

Voices all slurred together.  
“Jean? Jean!” Voices mashed up as one.  
“Hang in there Horseface I’ll get ya something.” Words of nonsense.

I want blood.

 

Waking up after a blood hunt is like waking up with a hangover. I’m sure I’ve made this comment before, but it’s always the first thought I have when I wake up from one. Other vampires wake up from a nice meal like they just got laid. Like what the fuck is that about? I swear to god I don’t even know what my issue is. I used to be able to control my damn hungry, act smart about shit and then drink what I need to. Now it’s the other his way around. As cliché as it sounds, this damn thirst controls me.

It didn’t take me long to figure out I have been fed, and probably by Eren, I remember hearing a ‘Horseface’ sometime last night. My prediction was proven when the infamous Jaeger came bouncing down the stairs. Well, by bouncing I mean like he ran down them fast. He always does this and it’s fucking annoying.  
“Hey.” Uuuuuugh he spoke this means I have to oh come on I’m so tired I really can’t right now like ughy my head hurts and I just need sleep doodly doo and my god EREN SHUT UP oh wait he isn’t talking oops. “Hi Eren.” I tear my eyes away from a stain on the carpet to glance up at Eren. He looked tired and pretty beat up. Bruises were up and down his arms, a cut was swollen above his lip, and one of his eyes was a dark blue. His injuries would heal quickly, a whole vampire perk, but I still felt pretty shitty.  
“Did I do that?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Oh.” Eren only shrugged. I had to have been a little shit last night. Eren probably had to tackle me to the ground and mouth feed me a packet of blood. Ughthisisembarassingwhatthefuck.  
“Jean don’t worry about it. Just rest. Go see Marco or some shit.”  
Oh. Marco. Yeah ok cool.

 

* * *

 

Yeah I went to see Marco. Cool right? Turns out I’m even more banged up than Eren. I too had bruises on my arms, just many more and all more black and blue. I’m pretty sure my nose is broken and I know for a fact it should be impossible for me to walk right now because my left leg is like backwards I don’t even fucking know ok? Marco wasn’t okay with this. He instantly pulled me onto his tiny little dorm bed and checked me for a fever or broken bones. Every time he would poke or touch me I would blush. You would think I would be used to this, but yeah no. His chocolate eyes melt in front of me and I want to lick them up. He’s so sweet, but not like candy. Like cinnamon rolls. Yeah, those yummy morning pastries. He’s sweet, but not tangy, just savory.  
“Jean what happened.” He rested his forehead against mine.

  
“I was having issues… and Eren had to like… I don’t know.” Marco sighed at my words. I could tell he wasn’t going to push the matters any further. Instead he sat down beside me and rested his nose in the crook of my neck. Every few seconds I would feel his breath trickle out and brush against my skin. I nearly smiled each time. Even the tiny bandage plastered across nose or my throbbing eye couldn’t take away from this happy moment. Marco fell my shoulder then linked his fingers into mine. Truthfully, this is not how I expected our little get together to go, but I loved it nonetheless.  
I don’t know how long it was, not very, but Marco fell asleep. I turn my head to be facing him. He looked tired. His eyes, even now in his sleep, looked hollow and dry. The rims where eye lid meet eye lid were red and his skin was overall pale. Had he been crying? Had he heard news that was so sickening he fell into such a depression at such a quick rate? Maybe he was just tired, he had so many finals all at once: it could be my imagination. Of course, looking at his sullen face made me think otherwise. I take in a deep breath and let it drain out of me slowly. It’s okay. That’s what gay old men and their gay college partners do right? They get through things.

Well I’m not so sure. There isn’t a Nicholas Sparks movie for it yet.

 

* * *

 

Marco woke up first. He hadn’t known he had fallen asleep or that Jean did too. Last night, Marco hadn’t gotten any sleep. After such news, he didn’t feel like sleeping or eating or anything. He just sat there, staring at his untouched textbooks until he had to run down the hall to the bathroom and throw up. After that Marco just climbed into bed. He stared at the empty bed. Reiner. What was Jean doing at that time of night? What was Marco supposed to be doing? He was told only but a few hours ago that he had a time limit on his life. Was Marco supposed to be contemplating the meaning of life? Or maybe he was supposed to plan out the next month, do that whole bucket-list thing.  
Marco was nearly bedridden the next day. Jean came over in the early afternoon. Finally things made sense. The answer to any of Marco’s question could be answered with this vampire kid. Freckled Boy and Vampire Kid. Marco liked it. And for now, that’s all he needed.

 

I woke up better than I had this morning. Marco was right there and my headache was gone at the very least. Luckily for me, the first true sensation I got was Marco pulling me just a bit closer and pressing his lips to the side of my temple.  
“Well good morning Sleeping Beauty.” He teased, using the joke I use for when he wakes up second. I roll my eyes before closing them again and humming softly into his chest.  
“What time is it?” I manage to murmur before lapsing into a limbo between slumber and consciousness. Marco pries me off of him for a moment so he could turn to read the alarm clock.  
“One.”  
“Oh okay that’s all right then.”  
“In the morning.” Oh well shit. I may sleep for most the day but I don’t need it as much as Marco does. I feel a bit sympathetic for screwing up his schedule, but it looked like he needed the sleep. Finals should be about over now though so he can get better right? I don’t fucking know how college works. I only did one year like fifty decades ago.  
“Well Marco,” I began, plucking at his messy brown curls. “Since it’s in the middle of the night. I guess we need to make Christmas cookies.” Marco only chuckled. I guess he didn’t like my idea. Well too bad. He doesn’t have a choice.  
I waited a minute, perhaps two, before dragging my lazy ass out of bed. I stretch, hearing each individual bone crack before pulling Marco to his feet as well.  
“Where are you taking me?” Marco asked, rubbing his eyes.  
“I just said we are making Christmas cookies. You know, you want to be a baker, I want cookies, and Christmas is in like… any day. You’re the one not making sense.”  
“Jean, I don’t’ have a kitchen.”  
“Whatever. The commons does. And the commons is for university members; which you are. Thus, we get to use the kitchen.”  
“The kitchen isn’t for the public.”  
“Marco I don’t care.”

* * *

 

The commons were open all the time, but at this time there were only a couple people with their heads buried in textbooks and laptops. I led Marco to the back and found the main kitchen. The door was unlocked so I ushered Marco in swiftly before shutting the door behind us. I don’t even attend this college or anything, but I felt bad for messing up this fancy kitchen. Like damn this was crazy nice shit.

“Ok Marco. You’re the baker. Tell me what to do.”  
“I’m not a baker.”  
“Yet.”  
“Yet.” He confirmed, kissing me on the nose. “I guess we should just find a few bowls, measuring spoons and cups, then the basic ingredients.”  
It doesn’t take us too long before we open every cabinet and find all the bowls and stuff. There was an abundance of flour and sugar, but the refrigerated stuff was harder to come by. Oh well, I just gawked at Marco in the apron as he cracked two eggs with a single hand. Hot damn why is that even sexy? It took only a couple minutes to get most of the stuff in the bowl before he turned to me.  
“Jean.”  
“Whaaaat?”  
“Get over here.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I said so.”  
“Yes mom.”

I roll my eyes and take the spot next to him. He quickly pours in the milk and grabs the baking whisk. Marco tugs on my arm so I’m standing in front of him. He cradles me as he begins to mix the dough. He holding onto my hands, which were holding on to the bowl and the whisk. Okay what even maybe I’m in a chick flick or something. My legs are about to give out and I’m going to melt into his arms if this boy doesn’t stop being so ugh.  
Marco eventually lets go and scoops the dough into small circles on a cookie sheet. He places the pan in the oven and pulled me back into his arms.

“And now we wait.” He whispered into my ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope the typos werent unbearable. some simple notes cuz i tired:
> 
> \- thanks  
> \- expect 1 or 2 more chapters  
> \- school is tiring so is work  
> \- come talk to me about helping me out or like being a freind ahah  
> \- i got a short fic based off of this??!!! i was told not to link but just know bout it  
> \- tracking: fic: KODD or fic: Knocking on Death's Door  
> \- also tracking for pers refs: kirschstiny or riingos (i prefer the first)  
> \- uuuuuuuuhm idk  
> \- thanks so much baebays
> 
> contact info  
> tumblr: edenslost  
> skype: kirschstiny  
> email: toxiplu@gmail  
> ok folks thats the show


	11. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good luck i didnt proof read !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Part One: I’m scared of death**

When you’re a kid, like one of those snot-nosed screamers, all of your emotions are like, tripled or something. I remember when I was a kid and Christmas time was the shit. It still kinda is, I mean let’s be honest, even without a big family, presents, or holiday traditions, I still get to enjoy the out-of-date holiday jingles as I walk pass a shopping mall or the temporarily added scent of peppermint to every place ever.  
After October, big colored bulbs are strung up on rooftops, and triangle trees of light can be seen through the living room window. I mean, who doesn’t like that? I do. That is something I really like. I don’t like a lot of stuff.

Well I like Marco.

Speaking of which, my Christmas Eve was spent sucking on candy canes, no dicks this time, and driving through the rich neighborhoods to look at the Christmas lights. After the nineties, one of the scariest decades I lived through, Christmas lights kept getting crazier and crazier up until these past few years. Luckily the rich neighborhood still did all right. Marco was sure fascinated by them and that is all that matters.

That was a fun night, but I didn’t see Marco until New Year’s, in an old ballroom I hadn’t been to for years.

Here is the real story:

 

In France, people were kinder. We were more, and yet less intimate. I would love to say it was a simpler time. And perhaps it was considering my fangless mouth, but it also was also a constant threat. After school hours I was to go home to my wealthy family, study, eat, study, then sleep. My parents didn’t have the consideration nor the audacity to check if I were in my room. I’m grateful for that. During the studying I was supposed to be doing I would sneak out the window, walk across the roof, then carefully climb down using some barrels we had in the back. This is the part of my reminiscent story that I’d like to say that I would merely meet up with my first love and have wicked sex for an ungodly amount of time. Okay wait, that part is true. Her name was Hitch. I liked her a lot. But I was part of a cliché movie gang. I’d prance into some bar, beat some guys up even through I’m wearing my nice shoes and suspenders, they take a small coin from their pocket and give it to Hitch to play some music. Hah, that only happened once. All the other times consisted of me being the one beaten up. I always told my father that I fell down, or some other mediocre lie.

One day, Hitch wasn’t waiting next to the street lamp like she would every night. I waited a bit then eventually decided to go and look for her. Of course it didn’t take long to notice her slender body being held captive by muscular arms only a few feet away from my family’s guest house.

This would be the time when I tell how he slit her throat, beat me up until I was nearly dead, then ran away. Then some short black haired man, bit my neck, and didn’t save my life, but put it in a box far away from me for safe keeping.

But this time around, as I think back to this moment, I realize I’ve seen this killer before. I’ve seen him on television. Not in France, but recently…  
_Who is he? Who is he? Who is he? Who is he? Wh is he? Wh i s he? Wh o i s hE”_

A name came to mind right before I got knocked out. Why didn’t I smell them?

 

[December 30th 11:59 PM]

“If you’re going to fucking kill me then why don’t you just get on with it?” Another punch to my precious cheek bone.  
“Reasons.” _Sigh_. I go ahead and sigh, tasting the metallic tang of blood from my lip. My wrists were tied together and to a chair. _Classic._ I should be about ninety-two times more nervous than I am right now. Why aren’t I? I got that short demon and his dad boyfriend guy probably out searching for me. I also I have tiny little weapons in my mouth that I can use if shit were to get spicy. Which it won’t. I roll my eyes and yawn. My voice turns into that weird yawn thing when I speak. “Yo what time is it? I have a date tomorrow? Tonight? Fuck I don’t—.”  
“Shut the fuck up!” Okay being kicked in the vampy dick hurts. I grit my teeth together and cough, feeling blood bubble in my throat.  
“Midnight, Eve’s morning.” I glance up to see a tall brown haired boy, around mine and the villain’s age. This boy looks a lot less threatening, even nervous.  
“Bert!”  
“Oh come on Reiner give the kid a break—.” I gasp and scrunch my eyes together.  
“Reiner Braun, age nineteen went missing four months ago as said on TV.” I watch the blond smile.  
“Took about damn time for you to catch on huh Jean?” I spit on him.  
“You fucking bastard.” I bark, now trying to escape from my restraints. Reiner only laughs and the other kid cracks a smile.  
“YOU BASTARD!”  
I was so calm but a second ago. But Reiner fucking Braun sent Marco through his own version of hell and turns out to be just hanging out in some fucking….ballroom? Kidnapping people? Too familiar. “Do you know what you put Marco through? What about Bertholdt huh? Cut him up too?” The brunette boy whimpered and I watch Reiner pat his shoulder.  
“Watch what you say in front of people.” I roll my eyes like usual. But I then come to the realization that this wimpy kid was the legendary Bertholdt. Son of a fuck.

Yo Marco? If you can sense my thoughts, sorry but I might have to reschedule our date.

 

Marco Bodt had fallen in love with Jean instantly. It was safe to use the term ‘love at first sight’. And this New Year’s Date, felt so very important. This date felt like a pledge. Of course he couldn’t pinpoint the reason for this. Perhaps it was just that this was the final date of the year. It was just a strong promise, saying the next year will be perfect.  
Marco was supposed to meet Jean at six. Well, it will probably be closer to the lines of Jean excitedly knocking on the dorm’s window around four. So, after waking up at eleven, showered at noon, and ready by one, Marco found himself standing alone in his tiny dorm dressed in black skinny jeans and a light blue button up with a black tie. He even gelled back his chocolate brown hair for the occasion. Of course now he would have to wait by sitting uncomfortably in his clothes. Even a 4.4 GPO graduate can lack common sense at times like these.  
Distressed over the decision of staying in the dorm until Jean appears or taking a stroll through the downstairs common area, Marco instead found himself trying to beat his high score on flappy bird. Actually, once Marco thought back to it, the high score actually belonged to Jean. Sometime last week, in the middle of the night, Jean snatched his phone and pounded away on the app until the new high score became three hundred even. Marco kept a small grin hanging on his freckled face even after the orange bird dropped down at number sixteen. “Well damn.” He sighed to himself. Passing the sixteen green tubes didn’t even take an entire minute. Marco was too lazy to do the math but he knew that he would have to go through a lot of tubes to get by the next few hours.  
Defeated, Marco flung back onto his bed and let out a gust of air he didn’t know he was holding. His phone bounced a couple times before tumbling off his twin sized bed. When he heard the phone’s screen hit the ground his whole body flinched. _Better not look at that damage right now._ He thought to himself while covering his face with a pillow.

Just on the other side of the door, Marco could hear people traipsing up and down the narrow hallway. Mentions of fun New Year’s parties, getting wasted, and getting laid could just be heard. Marco had to wonder about Bert. Was he alright? Of course he didn’t know the answer and asking the question repeatedly in his mind was not going to help. Marco glanced over to Reiner’s old bed. It has been untouched for a few quite some time now. Some officers came through to examine his stuff a few times but never found anything and left everything as is. Marco took the initiative and made Reiner’s bed and picked up a few of his things. But to be honest, that side of the room still looked like a mess. Posters of Glee and Gay Pride were strung up from floor ceiling and beneath his loft was a desk with about nine thousand drawings of cats. This was the first time Marco ever stared over on that side and took in what he was seeing. Reiner sure was a weird duckling.

Reminiscent thoughts of Reiner led to the time when he first met Bert. Was a funny memory.

_The largest thunderstorm I ever lived through was barreling though town at an alarming rate. The water seemed to be dropping down to Earth in buckets instead of drops. But to be honest, I didn’t mind one bit. Today was the ninth of August, the moving in date for the students. I moved in early in the morning, sometime around eight. My mother kissed my forehead and I did the same for my little sister. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. In all actuality I hopped onto my bed and began reading The Death of a Salesman. It has never been my favorite play, not that I’m particularly taken my theater, but I find myself reading it over a few times a year._  
_I flipped a page over to a new scene when a knock on the door interrupted me. My roommate hadn’t arrived yet so instantly my assumption was that it was him. Groaning myself to a standing position I opened the door to reveal a face I haven’t seen in two years._

_Bertholdt._

_“Bertholdt?” I say excited as ever. This was my best friend from fourth grade until he graduated a year ahead of me. It felt like he left me alone in the dust. Not because he graduated but because he moved three states away to go to a fancy college. I was proud though, Bert is twice as smart as I am so I knew he would do great things._  
_“Bert what are you doing here?” He still looked surprised and even rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t tricking himself._  
_“Well if it isn't Marco freaking Bodt!” Bert smiled his silly lopsided smile and gave me a small hug. “Anyways, Wallcline College turned out to be a big pain in the butt and so I decided to just come home for a while. I applied here for sophomore year so… here I am!” I smile again._  
_“Well okay Bert. But what are you doing here? Like at my dorm?”_  
_“OH! Well I’m supposed to welcome freshman and newcomers who are enrolled two-dimensional art to the college. Marco are you majoring in--?”_  
_“No I’m not. I’m undecided as of now. What about you? I never thought you would be going to college for art.”_  
_“Well Marco. I had a freak attack this summer and learned I could draw and I like it so yeah. But if you’re not in art it must be your roommate. Where is he?”_  
_“I’m right here motherfucker!” Bert’s eyes go wide as the howler came crashing into the dorm room. He was carrying four large suitcases and had trash bags of items on his back. How any one on planet Earth is able to do that is way beyond me. Bert and I watched him toss all four thousand bags onto his small bed, (which I don’t even think he will fit on), and jog back to us while wrapping his big beefy arm around me. I’m a tall kid, well-built too, but this man was humungous. I turn back to Bert to see him sweating bullets. This wasn’t rare for him, quite common actually, but I don’t know why he is so nervous now._  
_“I’m Reiner.” He said nearly singing the two words. He gives me a nice squeeze on my shoulder._  
_“I’m Marco and this is my friend Bertholdt.” I say gesturing to my soaking friend. Reiner’s eyes glaze over for a moment as he looks at Bert. He takes his arm from me to Bert._  
_“So Bertholdt, want to help unload the rest of my stuff?” Bert nodded. I watch the two of them leave the hallway as I stand in complete astonishment. My phone beeps. A text. From Bert: This guy is fucking hot._

_I didn’t think so but okay._

Marco smiles. Because he remembers watching them run through the rain to go get his stuff. After that day the two of them were inseparable. Reiner and Bert had the cute love story. Bert was infatuated with Reiner. Reiner would always give Bert this lustful look. His eyes would be full and he’d lick his lips a lot and…

_Impossible._

Marco coughed himself back into full consciousness at the mere thought that… no. A knock on the window interrupted his thoughts and soothed him completely. Marco raced over to the window and opened it. A short blond kid flew inside.  
“Armin?” Marco first noticed how nicely dressed he was. Must be a vampire thing. Armin was in ripped up grey skinny jeans and a pink cardigan with a dark scarf. The next thing he noticed was the troubled look on Armin’s face.

“Marco. Jean’s in trouble.”

  
**Part Two: I’m Scared of Being Alone**

Armin settled down on Reiner’s bed and explained what he knew to Marco. It was evident that when Marco said how Erwin and Levi had already told him about the fatal bet Armin was amazed.  
“So you’re already caught up then? Any questions?”  
“No Armin. Right now I’m more concerned over Jean’s safety. Where is he? Care to explain?” Marco spoke firmly. He tightened his tie and glared at the blond. “Well?” He spoke again, a little louder this time. Armin flinched, and swept his hair back.  
“I don’t really know Marco. Levi and Erwin were nervous earlier and eventually said they were going to ‘find’ Jean. Then, right before I came here, Mikasa and Eren had some sort of break-through. Mikasa said something about Reiner and how Jean was in trouble. She then said that they were going to meet up with Erwin and Levi. The thing is, they covered their scent. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that something dangerous is going on if Levi went through all that trouble to keep us away. Eren and Mikasa are long gone now, headed completely in the wrong direction. So if my instincts are correct… I’m sorry Marco but Reiner is a Titan. He’s gotta be. And if that’s the case, Jean would have been taken somewhere with a lot of emotional attachment because of the whole sacrament thing. That’s why I’m here. Marco, can you think of somewhere, anywhere in the world, that Jean would have an attachment to?”

Marco was still busy thinking about what Armin just said. Reiner was the enemy? Sad, but not surprising at this point. Marco also didn’t have the emotional strength to think about what happened to Bert. He was busy worrying over Jean.

Where does Jean love to be?

Marco felt bad for not knowing the answer. Jean would know if it were the other way around. Marco loved being side-by-side with Jean. It gave him the grandiloquent wishes no other person has ever even come close to being able to do. Jean puffed air into his lungs and brought light to his eyes. It was as simple as that.  
And now, being faced with a question that he should be able to answer, Marco learned that Jean has so much more that he isn’t a part of. His pretty French vampire wasn’t his; he was the world’s. Jean had so much history Marco would never understand.  
“Marco!” Armin looked upset. “Remember something god dammit!” He shoved Marco a bit on the shoulder, even showcasing his fangs while doing so.  
“I’m trying okay?” Marco said meekly. He wrapped his hands over his skull with a tight grip. _Remember. Remember. Remember!_

_“Jean, tell me about your family.” Marco was losing to a thumb wrestle to Jean in the neglected library._  
_“There isn’t much to say… I never hated them, never loved them…”_

Marco sighed into his knees. That’s not right.

_Marco was pushing Jean in a swing in the empty park. The snow was deep but nothing Marco couldn’t handle. “Yo Marco. We should get a dog. Just us. Name it something chill.” Marco smiled and slowed Jean down._  
_“Well that sounds great but I’ve never had a dog.”_  
_“I did. It’s not hard.”_  
_“Oh? Tell me about your dog.”_  
_“She was a pure bred poodle. Her name was Nice if I remember correctly.”_  
_“Niece? Like she was your aunt?” Jean chuckled and brought the swing to a complete stop._  
_“N. I. C. E. It’s only pronounced differently. It means nice.”_  
_“Ah, lovely.” Jean smiled and kissed Marco on the cheek._

No. _Marco you’re wasting time…_

_Just before Marco fell asleep, he felt Jean’s spindly fingers glide through his hair._  
_“You are my splendid sweetheart forever. Someday, allow me to show you the rest of my world.” Jean whispered into Marco’s ear not knowing if he was awake or not. “I will bring you to France and show you my house and hometown. J’adore danser. Did you know that? I’ll bring you to la salle de bal someday. Remind me mon amour.”_

Bingo.

“Armin do you know French?”  
“Some. Why?”  
“What’s la sale du ball?” Armin looked confused for a moment.  
“La salle de bal? It’s a ballroom.” Armin doubled checked his translation before glancing at Marco. “Is that where..?”  
“Yep.”  
“Marco, that’s in France.”  
“I guess it’s time to learn how to sneak onto a plane.”

Marco’s stomach was twisting in unmentionable directions. Even though the temperature was below zero, or pretty damn close, Armin rolled down the window for Marco to lean halfway out and catch a breath of fresh air.  
“Feeling better?” Marco wiped off his forehead.  
“No.” Armin simply rolled his eyes and continued driving down the interstate. His attention, however, kept wavering back to Marco. The freckled boy just couldn’t become comfortable. He kept readjusting himself. He would curl up, wait a few seconds, and then stretch back out. After a few more seconds he would revert back to the curled position. After about five minutes Armin had had enough.  
“Goddammit Marco! Take this.” Marco caught a pill bottle that was tossed to him.  
“What is it?” Marco asked as he swallowed the pill with some water.  
“It’s what I use when I’m about to… you know. It keeps me calm.” Marco looked confused until he came to the realization of what Armin meant.  
“Is it safe for me to have this?”  
“Well we will find out.” Armin chuckled at Marco’s face of true terror. The rest of the car ride was a blur. Marco was between sleeping and hi and it was a dangerous state to be in. Once Armin informed Marco of their arrival to the airport however, Mr. Sleeping Beauty woke up, slapped his face once or twice, and then gave Armin the okay.  
The next few moments Marco imagines with a cool and suave background song. Some modern version of pink panther. He and Armin walked into the airport, found their plane, then _pick-pocketed_ two stuffy old men’s boarding passes. It was so swift, fast, and fucking incredible. Marco felt like he was floating, an invincible mass of wonder. Was this what a vampire was? Jean would always try to hide theses sensations. He had told Marco his hatred for the being what he was, but he never got too in depth with it. Marco could see more than hatred in Jean however, he could see embarrassment, shame and fear. How many times had Marco told Jean that he wasn’t afraid of him, that he was proud of him, that Jean was this glorious entity? Apparently not enough.  
“Armin the passes don’t have our names on them.”  
“I’m an artist.”  
“Okay but drawing a doodle on them really isn’t going—“  
“Hush.” Marco closed his lips and leaned against the wall of the men’s restroom. Armin pulled out a weird looking knife and began to chisel away at the names. Once he finished that task e took the tiniest paintbrush Marco had ever seen and dipped it into grey ink. Marco stared in amazement at the speed and clarity of his name as it was painted on to the boarding pass.  
“Here you are sir.” Armin said with a poor accent. He handed the pass over to Marco.  
“Thanks Armin but I think you are forgetting one more thing.”  
“Here’s your passport.” Marco stared with disbelief.  
“Okay never mind,” he began, “…how..?”  
“Levi has a rule for everyone in and associated with his clan have at least two passports. A real named one and a fake one. Here’s your real one.” Marco flipped through the empty pages of the small book.  
“That’s a good rule. I should thank Levi next time I see him.”  
“Maybe. Thank Jean though, after the night you met him he made you these. Cost him a lot. Levi had nothing to do with this decision.” Marco’s cheeks flushed red for moment.  
“”I’ll keep it in mind.”

Ash was filling my lungs, the skin on the shoulders was ruined or gone, and worst of all I had to fucking pee. Also two long skinny stripes of blood were running down my chin because I kept biting it. I should stop doing that. I just look like a fucking dumbass. But you know what? I’m hella thirsty and my blood is going to have to make do for now. Oh shit I forgot my bladder is full. Do I urinate blood? Whoa. Okay this is not a good thing to be thinking about for my last thoughts ever. Because if that God guy is real or something else I’m screwed. Not only am I descendant of hell, I’m a descendant of hell who is banished to forever underage drinking. If alcohol ever enters my body, fuck knows it has, it is illegal. Bullshit right? So on my heaven or hell trial I’m pretty sure I’m going right back to where I came from. Home sweet home.

Marco had never held his breath as long as he held from handing the attendant his pass all the way to being completely seated.  
“Jean is a lot tougher than he appears okay?” Armin stared out the plane window watching the runway slowly start to roll by. “Trust me.”  
“I do.”  
“No you don’t. If you had faith in that Jean is okay I wouldn’t be able to hear your heartbeat, and smell your blood pumping throughout your body. Okay Marco? I don’t know what’s fucking going on. I’m the youngest vampire of the group, I’m the definitely the weakest, and out of the entire clan I’m he only one who has no fucking clue what is going on. But with every ounce of intelligence of my body, I _promise_ you Marco, Jean is okay. He’s not the strongest either, but out of everyone he’s the one who can handle a punch.” There wasn’t much to say to Armin at the moment. It was obvious Armin was not only upset but a bit parched. Marco couldn’t understand the feeling, but he assumed it was close to craving a cigarette while trying to quit smoking. Marco simply nodded and slumped back into his seat.

“Armin is right Marco.” _What? Who said that?_ Marco watched Armin’s face light up with joy, or was it relief? Erwin and Levi were seated across the aisle from them. Levi gave a smirk, which Marco assumed was an attempt for a smile, and turned to Armin.  
“Don’t be so hard on yourself kid. You’re probably the fucking smartest out of the bunch. You made it to this plane didn’t you? Where are Eren and Mikasa? Probably Mexico. So congrats.” Armin was able to crack a smile, even if it was just for a moment. Marco was happy to see that. Having two actual adults on the trip as well as a slightly calmer Armin was able to subdue Marco’s qualms about the situation. He leaned back into his chair and awaited for take-off.

_“Marco…? …Marco?”_  
_“What?”_  
_“I need you to know… that, well I love you ok? I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”_  
_“I know.”_

The plane landed in a small airport somewhere near Luxembourg. Other than that, Marco had no idea where he was. He ended up blindly following Armin, who was following Levi and Erwin, out of the foreign airport and outside. The night sky had already blanketed itself over the country town. France was about five or six hours ahead and Marco was now looking at his phone surprised to see the time be just passed ten.  
“Armin where are we headed?” The blond shrugged before speaking, “I’m just following Levi. I’m sure he has Jean’s scent by now.” Marco quickened his steps to catch up with.  
“Levi—.”  
“Ah Marco. I’m going to have to ask you something.” Levi spoke to Marco quickly and without a falter in his steps or line of sight. “Marco you know how valuable your life is to Jean’s. I’m going to do everything in my power to save Jean and you. If I am able to do that, one of you will eventually die. The earth and just fate itself will do everything in its power to kill at least one of you. I don’t know which and I don’t know when, but Marco, be prepared to die.”  
These were words Marco had just about heard before. This time around they were more blunt, more truthful, and a hell of a lot more terrifying. Marco swallowed, feeling his throat become tight and his saliva slowly scrape its way down.  
“I’m prepared to die.”  
“Okay then let’s—.”  
“But I’m not prepared to live without Jean.”

 

_I have lived my share of time. I’ve done a lot more things than any human could ever do in any lifetime. I’m not saying I’m ready to die or fade away yet, I’m just assessing my life, considering its worth. It’s not worth much. I kill humans to survive and all of the things I’ve done none of them are that grand. Marco is the best fucking yet and it seems it doesn’t matter since I’m gonna die before I even see him again. I’ve only known him for a couple months and now it’s already the end. The ticking bomb is at zero. BAM! It’s the end. My world had shifted all at once when I saw Marco. I could literally feel the planets align and it fucking destroyed me._  
_Here I am, sweat rolling down my face, neck and back, while my body is vibrating in chills. There isn’t heating here at night and since my clothes are ripped up into shreds I’m fucking cold. But damn I’m burning up. Each new bruise and cut was so vivid and warm. It was such a new feeling and it was damn exhilarating. After my long life feeling something new is great. I feel myself becoming drunk on this sensation. It hurt so much, but it was becoming home. I loved it. I loved it so much. I swear I feel tears seeping out of my eyes as think about it. I am fucking positive my body is shaking with this feeling. I am dying. I am living. I’m having an orgasm. I’m horrified. I am screaming._

**Part Three: I’m Scared of Living**

“Turn left.” Armin was using a map that they had stolen from a taxi. Actually they also had stolen the taxi. The taxi driver was somewhere, cold and dead. The three vampires in the car with Marco were noticeably quieter, swifter, and smarter after dining on the innocent man.  
Erwin was driving and Levi had his head outside the window for whatever reason. Armin was giving directions to god knows where. Marco simply sat. He felt like dead weight. Dead weight that had no clue what was going on.  
“Where are we headed?” No response.  
“Okay make another left.” Marco only sighed and curled back up into his gross worn seat. The countryside wasn’t much to see at the dead of night but up ahead was a more suburban type area. Streetlights appeared and Marco found the car speeding through some old yet fancy neighborhood. Levi tapped on Marco’s window.  
“That was Jean’s house before… as a human.” Marco could only see it for a second. It was huge, and lovely. It gave off a decadent feel but Marco assumed that was because of its history and nostalgia it had.  
“Turn right.”

_“Jean this is fucking stupid.” Reiner’s voice sounded close to roar. After hearing nothing for so long any sound was deafening._  
_“Where’s your boyfriend? I want to see his face when I kill you.”_  
_“Don’t fucking hurt him!” Jean barked, ignoring the whip smack against his back._

Erwin stopped the car right in front a large building. He about crashed into it but parked the car right at the entrance. Before Marco could ask any questions the entire team was climbing out of the car and running towards the large doors.  
“Where are we?” Erwin and Levi were busy trying to open the door so Marco directed the question to Armin.  
“Okay we are at some ballroom. I’m pretty sure this is where Levi… you know switched Jean. This is also a monumental place to Jean so when Levi smelled him in this direction this is immediately where we headed.” Marco didn’t have to say to what Armin said. It didn’t change the situation and only created new questions for Marco.  
A loud crash interrupted his thoughts when Erwin just about kicked the doors down. The group pushed through them to head into the entrance area. Inside it was silent and dark. Armin picked up a piece of paper that laid on the front counter.  
He read, “Let the dance begin. R&B.” Armin giggled and handed the paper to Levi.  
“That’s a stupid joke. And a lame note.” This was the first thing Erwin had said in a while. Marco didn’t have the heart to find any humor in the message. His initial reaction was pure terror because the note sounded close to some psychopath’s welcome message. Then Marco became even more horrified when he realized that is what the note was. But all these emotions blew away when Armin said R and B. Not because of the mild sex joke. Reiner and Bertholdt.” A smile snuck its way onto Marco’s once innocent freckled face.  
“Reiner and Bert huh?” He said, nearly maliciously.

_“Hey Reiner. They’re here.”_  
_“Finally. Ready Bertholdt?”_

Two gold doors separated the entryway from the ballroom. These two were luckily unlocked so Erwin pushed them open with ease. The room was large and empty. Dark red draped were hung everywhere. Portraits of famous French donors were hanging on the walls between unlit candles and above the silver wooden dance floor were three elegant chandeliers. The center one was dimly lit casting a faint golden glow over the center of the room. Directly below it was a chair and figure sitting in it, hunched over. Marco squinted his eyes to see that it was Jean, beaten and battered. A pained squeak escaped from Marco’s mouth. His skeleton shook in his body at the sight of Jean sitting in the chair covered in and surrounded by his blood. Marco took a step forward. Levi grabbed his arm but he simply shook out of it. He took another step before, paused, and then began to sprint as fast as his terrified body would allow.  
“Marco!” Levi yelled. His voice raspy in worry. Marco kept running. He even tripped and fell. He scrambled to his feet not waiting to be fully up before running again.  
“Jean!” He yelled. Marco was inching closer to Jean as fast as possible. He didn’t reach Jean. He was shoved over by a large force. Marco flew all the way over to the side of the dance floor and his body ran straight into a pillar. Jean’s head was still dangling down, not even moving. Marco’s focus switched over to the evil being that shoved him.  
“What the fuck is going on Reiner?” Marco screamed as he sat up, clutching his likely broken rib. Armin raced over to his aid, holding Marco up.  
“Something great.” Reiner’s loud voice was familiar but this time without the friendly intent. Marco watched in terror as Reiner’s skin ripped and was replaced with sizzling red flesh. Everything about the man became larger and he just become more menacing than he was before.  
Armin gave Marco’s back a pat and said “don’t die” before running straight towards Reiner. Marco was taken by surprise but watched gladly as Armin kept Reiner running in circles. Armin was so fast. He would jump over the ten foot monster then slide under him. Erwin joined the party followed by Levi. Marco watched the fight. It was so surreal. It felt like something out of Twilight or some other cliché movie.  
Once Marco pulled himself back into reality he turned his attention back to Jean. He quickly ran back over to the boy. Marco bent down on his knees to look at Jean’s face. His eyes were open, just glazed over from all the torture. Marco reached forward and gave the boy a light hug feeling him flinch. Marco ignored the sting in his eyes and began to untie Jean’s hands from behind the chair. The knot wasn't hard to undo but Marco couldn’t help but to gape at the deep red marks the wire and rope had left.  
“Marco?” The freckled boy looked up. It wasn't Jean who spoke but instead Bertholdt. Instead of leaping into the brunettes arms, Marco jumped back.

“Go home Bert. You can still make it. You can still live normally.” Bertholdt shook his head, water flowing down from his eyes.  
“Why not Bert? Please. Please just go home.” Bertholdt shook his head. A scream of pure pain and terror erupted from the tall boy as his skin began to shred and he grew larger. _You have got to be fucking kidding me._ Marco hurried to pick up Jean to carry him bridal style to the side of the room. He wouldn’t have made it but Levi had the courtesy to distract this new Titan Bertholdt. Marco didn’t have time to concern himself over the fact that Bert is a Titan. Instead Marco leaned Jean against a pillar. The freckled boy rubbed Jean’s face to get him back into reality.  
“Marco?” Jean said, his voice weak and unstable. Marco just about fainted but he kept himself together. He crushed their lips together as a last chance effort to recover the situation. Nothing changed. Jean’s face only turned into traumatized as he watched his family fight for him, risking the only thing they had and shared: their lives.  
“Marco I’m scared.” Jean spoke through fear. His voice was heavy and shredded. It sounded so raw. It wasn't covered in glee, slumber, or ecstasy. This was Jean beaten and scared. Marco’s heart lost its balance and fell down through his body. He forced a tiny smile before resting his forehead against Jean’s. He used his hand to shelter the back of the other’s neck.  
“Jean,” Marco began, staring directly into Jean’s eyes, not allowing Jean to focus on anything but the freckled boy’s eyes. Blood, fighting, terror, horror, and hell was happening behind Marco. But Marco had Jean transfixed on him. “Can you hear me Jean? We are going to live. We are going to get out of this. We are going to—.” Marco’s body picked up and thrown down onto the ground. The precious laminated floor broke and splattered as Marco’s weak body was shoved down into it. Reiner’s body was hovering his, large fists continued to pound down on the freckled body creating bruises and blood. Marco felt each hit pound the light in his eyes farther away.

A loud scream interrupted it all. It was Jean’s. Reiner’s heavy body was thrown over to the side. Armin came over to Marco and pulled him out of the ground. Erwin and Levi were on top of Bertholdt who was screaming and shaking. Jean was on top of Reiner repeatedly using both his fists to smash Reiner’s face. Jean was screaming in anger. Marco just stood still, leaning against Armin and feeling blood drip out of body. Marco just stood and watched Jean. Reiner’s body released a lot of steam and it began to melt away to reveal Marco’s roommate. There was the big blond kid everyone loved. Jean was still on top of him, punching and smashing his face. Erwin and Levi ran over to him and picked him up. Jean kicked his legs and continued to scream. He screamed curse words, he screamed in French, but mostly he screamed just sounds of pure anger and pain. Marco didn’t dare to look over at Bertholdt’s limp body. He kept his eyes on Jean. He continued to watch Jean until Armin’s help was no longer enough. Marco collapsed onto the ground. His body was dehydrated from blood and his skeleton didn't have enough skin to hold it.

“Marco!” Marco opened his eyes before closing them for good.  
“Thank you Jean.”

 

“Marco you can’t do this to me you asshole!” I yell as loud as I into Marco’s famous. We just fucking killed the two Titans and Marco is still going to fucking die? I feel my body move and shake without my control. No longer being in charge of my body I feel my arms pick up Marco’s lifeless body and hold him. I lean down and kiss his neck. A kiss quickly changes into a bite. I ignore Levi’s yelling as I feel my body release venom.

**Part Four: Finale**

Marco was lying on an old bed as his body healed. For the next three weeks I sit by his side and wait. Levi continued to harass me and tell me to go on home or do something new. He told me he and Erwin would watch over Marco. Of course I knew this was true, but I also knew there was no possible way you were going to make me move from this armchair next to Armin’s bed.  
We were residing in a small French county house near the airport. Armin had already headed home saying he wanted to heal there and talk to Eren and Mikasa. Levi and Erwin were still here with me. Levi was the least injured. He was doing everything he could to heal Erwin and I as fast as possible but everyone knew my body was going to have ugly scars and Erwin’s arm was going to grow back. Oh yeah, Erwin lost an arm. I feel guilty about it but Levi keeps telling me to not blame myself for this whole thing. Those words aren’t easy to believe when you stare at your possibly dead boyfriend’s body twenty four hours a day every day.  
“Does this whole vampire thing always take this fucking long?”  
“Relax Jean. It’s different for everyone. Marco was pretty banged up, it may take a while okay? But…” Levi trailed off. “Don’t keep your hopes up.”

A couple days later I’m trying to fall asleep in the armchair. Well… fuck it. The armchair is uncomfortable and I don’t need sleep but it’s always a nice way to kill time and ignore your surroundings. I feel weird to say I miss the smelly green couch and the basement back home right now. Hell, I even miss Eren right now.  
I readjust my position and close my eyes.  
“I’m hungry.” I whisper. “Marco can we order pizza when we go back home?” I say jokingly.

“Sounds great to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i have a lot to say soooo  
> 1\. this is the end but not the end !! a hella important epilogue is just aorund the corner  
> 2\. thank you wtf wow you are rad why did you read this  
> 3\. my writing skills have improved greatly rhoughtout this whole thing so im excited that this is FUCKING OVER SO I CAN WRITE NEW SHIT AHAHAHA  
> 4\. for anime shit kirschstiny.tumblr.com for pretty aesthetic that hurts m sould go to fuckingtxt.tumblr.com  
> 5\. &&&AGAIN THANK YOUUUUU  
> 6\. i have NO excuse as to why this took so long besides a)writers block b)my house burned down c)AP classes are ass d)and i was in a musical that took up every ounce of free time  
> 7\. i deleted this one whatverer keepreading  
> 8\. im scared this is over but so hella happy good things are coming  
> 9\. i could use friends & buddies & beta readers please talk to me  
> 10\. ok goodbye ~~~


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which fate wins the game...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : READ WITH CAUTION

    Things never went back to the way they were. Days began to drift by slowly and painfully. Even when Marco was by my side it never felt like he was awake yet. It’s not that becoming a vampire changed him or some shit like that… Fuck, I don’t know. It feels like our love for each other was now different. Certainly not less, but different. It no longer was raw and full of those comfortable yet bombast ideas.

      Only a couple of days after Marco woke up, we moved back home. Marco’s body was glorious and beautiful to look at. His muscles had become larger and his skin tighter, toner, and a darker shade. To me Marco always looked like a piece of art, but now this boy was a fucking masterpiece. He disagreed with me. Throughout the entire trip home he kept complaining how much pain he was in. The plane ride back was especially hellish. Marco kept gasping for air and whimpering from the pain. I stayed by his side feeling guilty as fuck. Levi didn’t understand why Marco was in pain but continued to reassure that there was nothing else I could do.

      Once home, Armin and the other two gave us a somewhat joyous reunion. Marco, still in pain, made a new bed out my old enemy—Mr. Green and Moldy. I kept fighting him, saying how we can get him a proper bed, make him comfortable again. He denied every offer and only ask that I stay by his side. Nights were the worst. I lie beside him clutching him and allowing him to grasp me back. Tears of mourning and pain mix together and fall onto my arm. I force myself to remember that Marco had been close to Reiner and Bert. Losing two friends had to be terrible. Also, to add to the soup of horror, Marco had to accept the fact that he was dead. His life would rest in a limbo between life and death until some sort of fate kills him off. That had to be difficult to take in. Thus, I do what I fucking can. I hum to him, sing to him trying in any and every way to let him fall into some form of slumber.

     Days weren’t any better. In fact, each day got increasingly worse. The pain worsened and Marco’s body would switch from being glowing to pale and meek. Levi tried to hand feed him different types of blood and at one point decided to try to feed him food. Marco’s body rejected both and left his body a shivering sweaty mess.

“Jean,” Levi spoke quietly and urgently when I was alone upstairs to get a new pillow. “You already know this—.” “Shut up.” I snap at him. He took a deep sigh and continued to stare bullets into the side of my face. “Jean.” He spoke curtly. “Marco is dying. His body is rejecting the venom and is just too weak to even attempt to stabilize it.” “Shut up!” I yell again, leaning my head against the fridge.

 

   I spend Marco’s final days sitting next to him talking strictly of the things we love. On a Tuesday, this body crumbles and dies before me. It’s Erwin who had to pull me off of Marco’s limp body. Sure, I came off kicking and screaming but it helped to no avail. Erwin tossed me upstairs and had Eren and Armin pin me down and hold me there. He and Levi were down in the basement for a really long time. I rest my head down on the table with my eyes open. I don’t think I blink for about two hours until Mikasa came home and wrapped her arms around me. After that I didn’t open my eyes for three days. I just lie on the couch, breathing in every last ounce of Marco’s scent before it’s gone.

_“Marco, everything is going to be fine, alright? We still gotta make out on top of the empire state building. Oh and buy that kitten that we name Titan.” A small laugh escapes his lips. “Also let’s never forget about that cruise we are going to crash. That’s gonna be wild huh?” It’s my turn to laugh this time. “Oh boy… I love you.” No response. “Marco?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok thank god im done !!!! eyyyyy !!!! i dont think this was tremendously sad but its still upsetting i didnt end it happily. Oh well ... :( I really do hope you guys enjoyed this as i know IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME .. actually it made me stronger sooo..  
> 1\. Thank you!  
> 2\. my new and remade tumblr: edenslost  
> 3\. i need FRIEEEEENDS and beta readers for my new shit so come talk to me  
> 4\. HEY I GOT FANART THAT I AM TOLD NOT TO LINK BUT PLEASE TAG ALL POSTS ON TUMBLR RELATING TO ME AS #kirschstiny AND RELATING TO THIS FIC AS #Knocking on Death's Door or #fic:KODD  
> 5.thank you again omg you are great  
> 6\. wanna co write ?! i will so do it if you are better than nothing which you are so :)  
> 7\. please critique me and this and comment it means a lot  
> 8\. im running out of things to say  
> 9\. im going to go through this entire fic chap by chap to do one big proof read touch up then be done with this forever  
> 10\. THANK YOU FOR STAYING WITH ME ON THIS HELL ROLLERCOASTER EYYYYYY


End file.
